#also i don’t HATE it but like. i have expressed the rage it has brought me in its run
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sapphosclown · 1 year ago
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for someone who has hated hsmtmts for a long time i sure did sob through the entire last episode
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starryjuicebox · 10 months ago
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Beloved (7) - Coward
Summary: The beginnings of a much-needed conversation.
Pairing: Ascended!Astarion x Tav
Word Count: 638 words
Masterlist | Ao3 Link | Next Chapter
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Nightal 1492
My eyes are red, my skin is cold, and my heart no longer beats. These fangs feel foreign in my mouth. I have become an abomination - a disgrace to the Oak Father himself. Surely, I can no longer call myself Faithwarden. I could have refused Astarion’s offer, and left our love a sweet, happy memory. Indeed, I could have. But…I was also the one who helped turn him into what he has become. By doing this, turning my lover into a monster, I surely have given up all rights to return to my kingdom. I can only hope Mother, Father, and Aelia will forgive me in time. I simply can’t bear to kill nor leave him; he, who wears the face of the man I once loved so much. 
…I still hear seven thousand screams in my trance every night. I can barely meet Karlach’s eyes. Her genuine concern for me cuts the deepest. 
And Astarion, my Starry, what have we become? 
Stella Lunaris
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“Free?” Astarion scoffed. “We have been together for three hundred years, and he wants you to be ‘free’?”
Ruby pools sparkled with unshed tears as his consort shook like a leaf, before raising her voice at him for the first time in three centuries. “Yes, he wanted me to be free! Do you? Can you?” 
Rage bubbled up from deep down inside him, thick and suffocating. How dare she?! Freedom? What freedom could she possibly yearn for? He would give her almost anything she wanted, if she would just ask. He clenched his jaw. “I give you wealth, power, pleasure - every decadence that can be afforded to a person? But you’d rather - what - sleep in the dirt again?” 
He wasn’t an idiot. He knew the rite had changed their relationship. The expression of sheer horror and then despair that had crossed her features as he took what was rightfully his pushed its way into Astarion’s mind. 
In all of the years they had been together, she had never even once brought up leaving his side. He couldn’t even remember seeing her change form. Astarion shot a glare towards the window. That damned Archdruid would pay for planting such a ludicrous idea in his wife’s head. Freedom. What a joke. 
Stella just shook her head. “I don’t need wealth, power, or pleasure. I just wanted you. For these past few centuries, I’ve always just wanted you. Part of me kept hoping that perhaps you would come back to me. The other part knew it was my fault you couldn’t.”
Astarion froze. “What do you mean? Do we not spend nearly every night together? I am always with you, aside from when I must attend to business matters.” 
They both knew that wasn’t what she meant.
Falling to her knees before him, she clutched her chest. His confusion gave way to panic, and the Ascendant immediately reached out to help her up. Was his precious treasure injured anywhere? 
She ignored his hand.
“I’m sorry I did this to you. To us.” Her voice came out brokenly. 
He opened his mouth to argue, but she continued without giving him a chance to intercede. “All those years ago, I begged you to reconsider. My pleas fell on deaf ears. I could have refused to help, tried to interrupt the ritual, or…hells, even sided with the Gur afterwards. I had so many options to prevent things from coming to this.”
She shuddered for a moment, before carrying on. “But how could I? You have everything you ever wanted. Your eternal hunger is gone. The sun cannot harm you, crossing rivers and thresholds are but child’s play. I may hate what you have become, but I can’t even bring myself to leave." 
Her unshed tears finally spilled over. “Somehow, I still love you. I’m a coward, aren’t I?”
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sunfish999 · 9 months ago
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The nitty gritty is watering down katara's character so she's just a meek girl ? Your lying If you really think that's the same character. The producers said they would take an axe to the main characters and that's where the show really suffers...also nothing is perfect people like you is why we get stuck with mediocrity
?? I finished episode 5 but what😭 how is katara just a meek girl, i feel like yes she has a little less rage but other than that she shows that shes smart and powerful and her own person? Explain what is watered down i feel like animation usually over-exaggerates facial expressions and voices for the most part, so i’m not surprised that katara has more subtle strength so far, and also the actress has a very kind face, but i think shes still able to show some of that anger. (I havent watched the water master fight yet so maybe thats where you’re talking about, so i cant speak on that)
Idk what taking an axe to the main characters means (like really cutting them apart? Cuz i doubt they would promote a show by saying its gonna be bad but who knows). But i feel like the characters are all pretty accurate with how they carry themselves, of course they’re younger so acting wont be perfect but i think the imperfections are what brings them to life. I know a lot of people hate the writing, i feel like it’s quite similar to the show? (Though its been maybe 3-4 years since i last rewatched it) and some lines especially from something previously animated are gonna sound awkward in real life, which is why generally i believe live actions arent necessary for any animation, though in this case i’m really enjoying just rewatching atla and my childhood be brought to life.
Nothing is perfect: ok i was using perfect mostly because i was very excited about it, of course i know theres things that could be changed to improve it but a lot of those things are impossible (like you cant get an actress thats EXACTLY katara and will make everyone happy, because shes a drawing) but overall, i think the landscapes come close to perfect (i’m just really into fantasy scenes and i think it’s so beautiful and impressive to see things like the omashu supply rail and the air temple come to life. And zuko’s boat looks so awesome and so accurate too.) And i thought the cgi looked slightly silly at first (especially air) but then i realized that we were always seeing drawings of aangs air in the animation which would look even stupider irl so i made my peace pretty quickly.
People like me is why we get stuck with mediocrity… hm. I feel like my opinion probably has nothing to do with what comes out on tv, especially because in this society haters have the real power, and you guys tearing it down are more likely to get it cancelled. I don’t think any production team takes an animated film or show and thinks ‘yea im gonna make this absolutely awful,’ (though i’m really not sure what they were thinking when making the pjo movie, its good as a standalone but they went so off course from the plot…) of course they’re all just trying to fit what they think into the show and express their own opinions, which are ultimately going to be a lot different than some people watching it.
Overall, ok i haven’t watched the og in years, so my memory on comparing each episode of the show to the live action is not going to be at the level of others (which i think boosts the enjoyability 100x over). But as i watch it, i remember tons of parts of the animation, and it makes me super happy that it has the same air as the show, albeit slightly more serious because they can’t fit all the funny filler episodes (if they ever created a live action lost appa episode i would lose it that cannot happen).
Maybe i sounded rude in my original post (i changed it quickly bc it was very angry at first lol) so sorry i know you’re all entitled to your opinion, it’s just i was SO EXCITED and then checked the tag on tumblr only to see that everyone hated it… i always feel inferior to people who really like films etc because i tend to enjoy things that other people hate, (like i really enjoyed the avatar way of water movie even if it was super long, and i know people DESPISED it). So maybe i seem like someone who is satisfied with mediocrity, and maybe i am, i focus mostly on the backgrounds and beauty of movies because im really into art and much less on acting and script (though i can appreciate beautiful characters, i was Blown Away by live action suki and hair down sokka my jaw dropped fr) i agree i am fairly simple to please in terms of this type of thing.
SORRY THIS IS GETTING QUITE LONG IM SURE U WONT READ IT ALL but i hope ur finding joy in life since live action atla is obviously not doing it for u
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therealvikingstrash · 2 years ago
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Entry for Day 7 of @vikingsevents vernal equinox event. Have a little Ragnarssons being small cuteness that came to me without asking, lol. It's kinda centered around Ivar, which is a double surprise. Aslaug POV, which isn't a surprise at all. (1k fic below the cut)
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The weather was ideal for them to go on a hunt for easter eggs and Aslaug had made it harder for her over-eager boys. She knew Hvitserk and Ubbe were quick to find all the nests she hid away and so she made the rule that they could only take those with their names on it and have to leave those that don’t. She was sitting on the porch, a tea in hand as she watched them spread out in their yard. Hvitserk was already stomping around in frustration, because he’d found Ivar’s and Sigurd’s nests, but not his own. Ubbe had sat down near a tree instead of looking for his nest and Aslaug was inclined to ask, but with him it was most likely to keep the pressure off his brothers. Last year Ivar had had a fit when he couldn’t find a single egg, so much so that in his rage he managed to topple over in his wheelchair. Neither Aslaug nor Ubbe were allowed to get near to help though. 
She was positive that Hvitserk and Ubbe finding the hidden eggs after five minutes didn’t help the cause. Even Sigurd had managed to swallow his jokes when he saw the fury in his brother’s eyes. 
Her youngest had refused to use his wheelchair this time though and was crawling around in the grass, possibly staining his jeans a bright green where they brushed over the ground. Ivar was also very close to the forest that started exactly where their yard ended. And also as far away as possible from any easter treat Aslaug had planted. She took a sip of her tea and continued watching what would unfold. 
“Mister bunny!” Ivar called out all of a sudden, halting his brother’s in their search. “He’s here!” he was pointing towards the forest and Aslaug frowned, before getting up. She did not want him to crawl around the underbrush of the forest. She’d already been against him doing that in their yard, but there was no way of arguing with an Ivar who had an opinion. Even though she swore herself not to intervene, this did the trick to cause her to walk over. 
“It’s easter bunny!” Hvitserk corrected him. “And you didn’t see him.” he added, his skinny arms folded and a scowl on his cute little face. There was a reason why Hvitserk didn’t believe Ivar and Aslaug knew that it had a lot to do with Ubbe telling his brother that the Easter Bunny wasn’t real. And neither was Santa. Thankfully it didn’t stop Hvitserk from loving the presents and treats and he kept his mouth shut about it towards Sigurd and Ivar.
Although, Aslaug was sure he was holding that revelation back until the very moment one of them pissed him off. He’d done it before with a secret not meant for little ears and Aslaug couldn’t tell if he picked that trait up from her or Ragnar. Or possibly Ubbe. 
“Yes, it was!” Ivar argues, already red in the face. “It’s mister bunny,” he said with confidence and Aslaug had to smile. Ivar did not like to be corrected and he seemed to have a special hatred for Hvitserk correcting him, though Aslaug hadn’t found out why yet. He was fine when Ubbe did it. “He will show me…” Aslaug barely caught that part before she saw Ubbe stand up to follow his little brother who was already disappearing into the forest. 
“Ivar!” she called out, halting him in his movements. “The easter bunny did not hide your nest in the forest, come back here!” Her quick stride brought her to the end of the yard where her boys had started to huddle. “Now.” Aslaug insisted, leaving no room for discussions. 
When Ivar emerged from the higher grass, he sported a pout so big he deserved a place in the book of world records for that expression. Ubbe wasn't far behind him. “But I saw him, mom!” Ivar insisted, “Mister bunny has my nest!” he whined so pitiful Aslaug had to resist picking him up. She knew he hated coddling, but sometimes she couldn't help herself. “Believe me.”
“No, he doesn’t,” Aslaug replied. “I saw him this morning, hiding all your nests.” When she dared to look Hvitserk’s way, the eyebrow raise caught her a bit off-guard. At this moment he looked surprisingly like his father. “Come with me, you’ll find yours closer to the house.” 
The boys continued their search, this time even Ubbe acted like he was genuinely looking as Ivar followed her back. “You don’t believe me…” she heard her youngest say, a sadness in his voice that tore at her heartstrings. 
“I do believe you saw a hare,” Aslaug replied. “But the easter bunny wears a bow around its neck,” she lied. “Did yours have a bow on its neck?” Aslaug wanted to know, looking down at her son who had started poking through the flowers. Still nowhere near the place she stashed his nest. And here she’d thought she made it easy for him…
Ivar shook his head, the pout back on his face. “HAH!” she heard Hvitserk exclaim and knew he finally got the nest that was meant for him. A quick look back and she saw how Ubbe avoided looking at her as he rubbed his neck. She was positive he helped him somehow, but being distracted meant she couldn’t prove it. 
“Why don’t you look over there?” Aslaug suggested, pointing in the direction where she hid Ivar’s easter eggs. “I think I saw him near the lavender.” With a look of concentration, Ivar crawled towards the huge bush of flowers. With her help he managed to find his nest before Sigurd found his own and Aslaug knew that meant a lot less screaming in the afternoon. 
When she sat back in her chair, her boys busy picking through their chocolate eggs and small gifts she placed in those nests, she watched how Sigurd and Ivar compared theirs to make sure neither one was favored. On the other end of the brother spectrum she saw Ubbe and Hvitserk exchange treats they liked best and wondered why she even bothered giving those two their own. 
A heavy sigh escaped her and she turned her gaze towards the forest, only to notice the hare Ivar must’ve spotted earlier. “Well, hello there, mister bunny.” she said quietly and more to herself than anyone else. 
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In danish Easter Bunny is called Påskehare and Mister would be Herre. So Ivar basically named him Herrehare.
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fairy25 · 2 years ago
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Therapist anon
Thank you so much for the advice and listening! I appreciate it. Decided to have one more session I already have a therapist who has done trauma work herself that I connect with better. (I was going to collaborate with both but that was honestly me being codependent.)
She never overtly said I needed to be a wife and mother to her happy, but it was just so odd when I said “I wouldn’t be a very good mom” and I didn’t even say it in a negative way, just that I don’t want kids and it’s a good thing I’m childfree. The expression on her face was weird like I just told her something super depressing or some shit. Then when I said “I’m sad I didn’t experience romantic love” I would’ve thought “I’m sorry for your loss” would’ve been sufficient and if she was going to comment on relationships maybe she could’ve just reminded me they are needed to be happy idk I called her out and got pissed and told her she projected what she found fulfilling. She didn’t deny it. I’ve also brought up that she basically minimized it as a loss, that she devalued me and minimized my trauma, etc… no talking about it makes me feel better I literally can’t trust someone who responds to me expressing a feeling with the ideology that I can “still find the right one”. I’m at higher risk for being assaulted I asked if that was worth it and idk if she didn’t hear that but she didn’t answer.
I am having one more session and just won’t sceduale anymore. I told her via email that I just want a break.
I liked her momentarily due to being porn critical and doesn’t believe men can be women and I could talk about that but she clearly has no identity out of being a wife and mother.
I think you have to severely undermine male violence to not see that as a loss….
I am sad I didn’t experience romantic love because then I feel there would be less grief around accepting seperatism for my safty and not feeling offended by others folks opinions; I feel like I have to prove I was somehow desirable or wanted like I feel like a loser for having never been with anyone and rage because my Father dominated me and that’s literally the only reason. I hate being het cause it makes me feel gross. I wish I experienced romantic love so k wouldn’t feel dirty, basically, and wanted to heal from this idea rhe I can now never stop feeling dirty.
I was raged mormon so there is heavy sex shaming… being intimate with someone was like my awareness because it made me conscious I was being dominated and abused. I wasn’t a “prude” by any means I heavily repressed myself… I was afraid this guy I was trying to see in secret would think I was a slut, we were taught about not having impure thoughts and being chaste and all that shit, but I become aware there was nothing innapropiare I felt sacred… I didn’t feel shame or guilt engaging in my sexuality for a brief moment in my life and I was only 15 and I’m traumatized by it, and I literally told my therapist all of this before I said I’m sad I didn’t experience romantic love.
I just wish I had never been traumatized, and yea, I’m sure the rare het relationship that is loving is nice, I want to let go of the limerence and fantasy for the sake of being healthy, happy, and safe, because I fear being raped or stresses me so much it’s healthiest to stay away for me. It’s just not work the risk… idk how to heal, I don’t think therapists who believe happiness is motherhood and marriage and grandkids is a good therapist…
It frustrates me how many therapists have actually judged me for being single, it makes me feel worthless.
Sorry for vomiting, I really appreciate it!
I think you may be at a point right now where therapy isn’t helping you but rather exacerbating things and making you feel worse. It might be a good idea to take some time off and let your body relax and re-regulate itself. When you’re ready, I would suggest tackling the idea that great romantic love is the end all be all of life, because many people, traumatized or not, will never experience great romantic love. Does that make them less happy people? Does that make their lives less important? You can still experience great love, it just may not be from a man (or it may be, I don’t know). My dog loves me unconditionally, so do my friends. My coworkers smile when they see me and tell me about their families and show me pictures, I basically get to watch their kids grow up. Why is this love less valuable? And I mean you’d have to look far and wide to find a woman who isn’t traumatized so if you weren’t, you’d be one of few. Like I know it sucks to feel how you do and it’s not your fault, I want to reiterate that, you’re doing the absolute best you can. But it’s going to be hard. You’re going to have to ask yourself what you really want out of life, what’s important to you. Challenge why you think something is important. Question everything. I used to think I needed to be chosen by a man to be worthy. Which was then made more complicated because I am not attracted to men. But I kept trying, over and over again, thinking maybe this time, it’ll be good, it’d be different. It wasn’t. I would start sobbing the moment they left and at one point even bathed myself in bleach and scratched my skin off in chunks because of how dirty I felt. I wish there was something I could say to take away the pain. In my case, the only thing that helped was time and giving myself some grace. Focusing on the parts of life that made me happy and excited, getting me out of my head and back into my body. Dancing, yoga, just going for a walk with my dog. Anything to remind myself that I’m here now, I’m safe, I’m alive, no one is touching me. I think it’s hard to move through the world as a traumatized woman when you haven’t found your anger yet. Anger is what leads me to talk back, stick up for myself, not take shit from anyone. Your anger is the part of you that loves you. I think that’s next for you. All that fear and anxiety and self loathing you feel is eventually going to turn into a different beast entirely: rage. You’re already getting frustrated, you just need to stop turning that frustration inward. None of this is your fault. Remember that.
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yeet-saintlaurent · 15 days ago
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Alright you guys bear with me for a paragraph, gotta get this stuff off my chest for a moment.
I wrote this based on my final moment with her. The ending was more peaceful than I had imagined, at least in my memory, I was cold to her at the end. I did not say a word to try and get her back, I know it seems ruthless and I definitely set her world on fire that night. I also know that in that moment she was as good as gone and there was no turning back, to this day I still do not know if I should have fought. It would be something I would want to ask her in another life. I didn’t get to know so many things I wanted to ask. I don’t know if she thinks that I hated her, that’s why she acted all weirdly, yes in fact I did hate her for awhile. Til’ I die I would remember she called me a robot, emotionless, dreadful and that I could not cry. To that it hurt me deep and it made me question if I was really a person who was capable to feel. As a casual person who writes I wondered if anyone even connects with my writing. But, how could I allow hate to be her final memory ? I could not hate her for saying that, she is not a person like that. I know she had no way around us, no way to leave. Of course I felt it every time and that is why it was excruciatingly hurtful to face her. That is the depth of my sadness and impending day I know would come. I tolerated to the end like she had to bear me. She was the only person I cared about even to the end. The only.
The truth is, I don’t think I could have brought her to my world, or maybe her world doesn’t allow for it. She might have been the closest thing to being my soul mate, in fact I think she is. I still talk and think about her like she was the greatest thing that ever happened to me in my life, and if granted, I wanted to marry her one day. Maybe another will come along but I do not know. Dels has set the benchmark too high for anyone to replace. The local girls bore me to death. If I have to go through another I don’t think my heart will be able to take the blow. It was entirely my fault for making her my world, and when she suddenly disappeared I couldn’t make sense of it.
This year, I didn’t had anyone. No one. I had no time and energy to process what happened after my dad got sick, that episode was keeping me distracted from the actual healing I needed and my world still burns and reeks of her image. I figured I’d need abit more time and I don’t want another person that cannot value my peace at this current moment. It’s been almost a year and I’m still weak but I’m dragging this baggage until next year when I’m ready to take a break from life.
She was my first love. Everyone that came before was nothing like her. She has always thought I’m still stuck in the past, but she was nothing like the persons of the past. Now she became the past I’m really stuck to, how ironic, I hope this is not some sick joke she’s playing on me, or maybe I deserved it. Glad to say it’s making me a better writer this year, words really come easier when it was real. I’ve used writing to unload all of what I’ve wanted to express, the rage, the sadness, disappointment, the grief and the poignancy of a break up. I really did loved her. I told my best friend, the day I blocked her;
It felt like she died,
Metaphorically of course, but I cannot shake past the idea that someone I used to talk to every single day has vanished into thin air. She’s the last person I want something bad to happen to. No contact, no more words, no more knowing if she had moved on, well she has, but it ends here. It’s the worst year of my life I am declaring it. She finally got the Kikyo arc she wanted it seems. I’ve always thought of it so sad that Kikyo never really got what she wanted (Disregard that reincarnation). I know Dels did truly want us to happen but couldn’t control, and that is our fate really. This breakup was neither really happy nor really sad just tragic. In the end we both got what we needed. Her freedom, my faith and both of our families. I say it’s a win. So let me tell you guys, there’s always a silver lining.
>I don’t why but she gotta nickname herself after the MOST common supermarket sections and sometimes it’s usually in all CAPS on the aisles. It’s hard not to see it really so I usually avoid the cold cuts, salad and cheese sections of the market. Cheese surprisingly makes me uncontrollably sad.
I didn’t know then in December but this year September was when the real grievance came washing like a tsunami. I said my heart exploded then and it’s real that I felt it, it really hurt more than what it did in December. This time she was really gone, and she’s good at it, at being gone. She did warn me at the start of it that she used to be a good blocker, but somehow at the end it didn’t happen and we procrastinated so I bit the bullet in September and did it first, she still got there faster, goddamn it. Still trying to be first even at the end.
The longer we drag it we know we would not move past. Blocking is so cruel yet effective
I speak of this year like it’s heaven’s plan. It’s like she was destined never to arrive here, and everything fell into place so smoothly. As if God was trying to bring me back to Family, I definitely had it this year and I am forever grateful of it to bottom of my heart. She told me she does not believe in God but I don’t buy it really, I don’t think she means it anyways (she can make me hate her all she wants). I know I wouldn’t be able to handle a relationship nonetheless when time with my Dad was limited, I have owed him too much to school and life, I’m afraid pa, I may not have that much left. I still miss her too much, if I pray hard enough I hope she lifts whatever witch spell she was putting on me. I’ll continue to write Dandelions of the Midnight until I’m feeling better because there’s no way I write this good when I’m happy.
My Muse. It’s best she does not know, I think it’s also fine she’s no longer on this platform already anyways
>I know it’s wrong but … can I just send one more letter ?
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📌Dandelions of the Midnight // The Forgotten Blaze
For her,
At night, I drown in the weight of regret,
For not holding on to the only soul
I have ever loved.
Yet, how helpless am I,
When it is Love Herself who chose to leave?
May my wails rend the heavens,
And my prayers set the sky ablaze in Its revelations that follow.
Let it witness my final wish to write to you once more,
To lay amidst a burning heap of ashes,
Of burnt letters and a baptism of sorrows.
What a sight to see…
a man once strong,
brought to his knees.
Borne by love,
Yet powerless to his memories.
If time should heal, let him grieve for her,
Should it set him free…
He writes to thee …
Oh, my unrequited flame,
Rests beneath amber skies and crimson haze,
I ache for a glimpse of our forlorn love
A fire once brilliant, now reduced to embers of a fallen grace.
Like a past lingering within the hollows of a heart,
Our Love reminisces a phantom glow waning of a bygone’s blaze.
~Dan
————————————————————————
A writing she could never see.
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jjkafterhours · 3 years ago
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“reversal of the heart” actually captured my heart. the way you wrote it felt so natural and I’m glad it headed in a different direction than straight-up angst…lol….i don’t think I would’ve been strong enough for that…..you’re excellent at characterizing these characters and it’s genuinely just beautiful writing. bravo
REVERSAL OF THE HEART.
PART EIGHT
TAGS/WARNINGS;; angst, slow-burn but I’m impatient, guilt, nudity (not very explicit), kissing, fluff, everybody needs a hug @m00dycr4nkybitc @brumous11
WC;; 5K+
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NOTES;; FINALLY GOT MY LAZY ASS TO WRITE I’M SO SORRYYY. Also I have received several asks for part 8, but I just wanted to honor this one, because it was the first ask/comment I had received when I first started this series, and look how far we've all come. Thank you so much, anon, as well as everybody else, for hanging on so far <3 PART ONE PART TWO PART THREE PART FOUR PART FIVE PART SIX PART SEVEN
mini playlist ♡♡♡
“So you ran away.”
Megumi does not reply. His head is bowed to the ground, as if Toji’s words felt more like blows to his back. A sense of coldness has frozen over his impassive expression. You realize that he has little sympathy for his son, and although you do not think that he would demean or insult him, you knew silence hurt more than anything. Silence meant apathy, disappointment, quiet rage, and you knew the knowledge of that hurt more than a scolding, no matter how harsh.
“Any reason why?” He asks. He is only met with a sniffle. Tears are silently rolling down the boy’s cheeks. Enough, you think, hoping that Toji would spare the boy some words of comfort. Megumi’s small; his stature weak and unassuming next to his father’s broad, intimidating form. Toji radiates anger, the fury in his eyes replacing the soul-crushing relief you had seen when he had seen his son at the police station. He had been awake for days, wild with fear, his head in his hands, weeping, asking you what he had done wrong for his son to not to want to stay in the same house as him.
You knew that Megumi was not aware of that, and no matter how much you wanted him to understand. You don’t think he has even seen his father cry. To a child it would only seem that their father was disappointed. Although you knew there was no way to justify his actions, you knew that Megumi only wanted his father’s attention, to see some sort of indication that he was cared and loved for. Perhaps that was why he always kept getting in trouble whenever Toji was around.
“Well?” Toji says harshly, and you wonder if you should confront him now, or later-
“Because I hate you.” Megumi blurts out, then stiffens in horror. His eyes widen when he registers what he said. You see for the barest of moments; how Toji’s expression changes into one of grief, before settling back into an expressionless mask.
“I see.” Megumi opens his mouth, more tears rolling down his cheeks, trying to explain. His eyes flit back and forth, his lip quivering uncontrollably. His lips move silently, the words dying in his lips which echoed what was left of them.
“You’re grounded,” Toji says. “For making your mother worry.” It’s all he manages before the tremor in his voice threatens to give away. He stays pauses, for a moment, but then it gives away to silence. He had nothing left to say. How could he scold his son for something which he thought he had brought on?
He walks away, feeling his heart cave in. Megumi’s breaths are quick and shallow as he stares after his father's form. You run to the boy as he collapses.
“You need to apologize, okay, Megumi?” You said softly, when he regains his composure. He nods, hiccupping slightly.
“I know you did not mean it, but we don’t say things like that to people that we love.” You continued.
“Are you angry at me too?” He asks, while you wipe his tears with the pad of your thumb.
“Nobody’s angry at you, Megumi. We were worried but now that we’re all together, it’s alright.”
“You still love me, right?”
“Of course, Gumi.”
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Just when you think that things have improved, you seem to fall back into square one. Tsumiki has become quieter, Megumi mostly cooped up in his room, and Toji rarely at home. The frigidness in his eyes returns, and you see him soundlessly brush past you whenever he runs into you. Megumi occasionally looks up at you, his lips quivering, but you could offer little comfort, mostly grasping his hand and giving it a squeeze. You know you cannot brush the incident off like it had been nothing, but you did not want to scare the boy either. So you decided to keep your distance and prayed that it would not be taken the wrong way. The walks to school with Tsumiki had gone quiet as well and it suffocated you, the unresolved tension which resided in the house.
“What?” You finally ask, exasperated.
“I didn’t say anything.” He muttered, looking away.
“You keep staring at me, like-” You protest.
“You’re just imagining it.” He replies coolly.
“I would rather have you tell me rather than silently glare at me; you know?” You demanded. The black look in his eyes doesn’t leave him. You could feel his eyes boring holes at the back of your head; wasn’t everything going well a few days ago?
“You did the same thing when you were at the Zenin Estate.” He winces at that. Ah, you indeed had caught on.
“It isn’t like pretending like everything is normal is going to make anything better.” His mouth twists into an ugly expression, his eyes narrow and accusing.
“I’m not here to fix you Toji.” You said quietly.
“Bold of you to assume that I’ll change because of you.” He sneers.
“Is it really wrong to want to spend time with you?” You exclaimed, throwing your hands up in frustration.
“I don’t want to talk about this.” He says stiffly. Does the man even hear himself?
“What do you mean you-” You yell. “Toji!”
“What?” His voice rises, fury clear in his eyes. “Is there really anything more to talk about?” Was he really just going to storm off like this?
“I’m not trying to fix you!” You scream, feeling your eyes sting.
“Clearly you and I aren’t any happier. I’m the last person who is going to make you happy!” He hisses.
“You have made me happy-” You swallow. Your throat hurts. “These couple of days were wonderful-”
“Are you really going to take those couple of days over a whole year?” He bellows. What had gone wrong? Why was he suddenly angry at you?
“So you’re just going to walk out?”
“Don’t you think it’s time we had a break from each other?”
“This is just going to make it worse.” You plead. “Please, just stay and tell me.” He feels like a child when he hears you say that, and it makes him angrier. In his right mind, he probably would not have taken in the wrong way, but the problem was that he wasn’t. He was angry, a random sequence of buttons pressed underneath his skin, making his face feel hot, heart thudding against his chest.
“I don’t know what to do, Y/N.” You see him deflate slightly even as he grits his teeth. “I honestly think whatever’s done, it’s going to be the same, and it’s going to be an endless loop of this and getting your hopes shattered.”
“It won’t-” “Just quit it, Y/N. It’s annoying, and it is pointless.” He says coldly. The truth was that it was a cycle he can’t escape from, building and then sabotaging his own relationships past the point of no return. He had been selfish and failed to create a proper relationship with his children, and because of it he had lost Megumi’s mother.
Was he really thinking of her at a time like this?
Why why why-
-Could he not be satisfied with what he had? He knew exactly what was going to happen. He was going to fall back into misery, point out bits and pieces where you fell short; reducing you to a poor replacement for-
(Then break it. Break the cycle. All it cost was his pride wasn’t it? This whole argument was his fault wasn’t it? He just wanted to drive a wedge between you and him because he felt like shit.)
He pushes back the thoughts far, far down. No— he cannot do this to you, not you. He was vile, the worst of the worst; he knew, and you did not deserve that kind of cruelty. He was not going to bring you down to him.
“You’re so mean.” You whisper, salty tears spilling from your eyes. “I can’t believe I fell in love with such somebody who’s so mean to me.”
“Then don’t.” Toji’s voice wavers for the slightest of moments before he goes silent. He cannot continue. If he stays, he knows he would say something he would truly regret. He quietly walks away, his heart sinking.
He doesn’t think he has ever seen you cry before.
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“Y/N.” His voice is soft, quiet. Night has fallen. He had been out for the rest of the evening.
“No.” He hears in reply, your voice still shaky from tears. His feet silently pad across the room as he makes his way to the corner of the bed and sits down. Close enough to talk, but far enough for you to tell him to leave. The bed creaks slightly with him shifting uncomfortably on it. He cannot see your face; your entire body is buried under a pile of blankets in an attempt to muffle your crying; save for your hands which peek out of them, tightly hugging a pillow.
“Apologize first.” You say. You half-expect him to scoff and walk out of the room, say that you are overreacting; or perhaps argue that he was hurting too, so why didn’t you understand?
But you’re met with silence instead. No sound of distaste leaves his mouth, and you feel the bed slightly shift.
Realizing his mistake, Toji lies down next to you. You hiccup slightly as he places a hand on your shoulder. Warmth radiates from his palm and you feel it even through the literal layers you have created in an attempt to distance yourself in case he tries to coax you into forgetting the moment.
“I was wrong.” He admits. “I’m sorry.” The guilt does not leave him completely, still a bitter residue in his mouth as he hears you weep. He lets his hand rest on your shoulder, strangely heavy, offering you to brush it away. When you don’t, he takes it as a notion to move closer in an attempt to comfort you.
Gently pulling you to his chest, he presses a kiss over the locks of hair which have escaped through the mound of blankets. He lets go the moment you begin to shift and turn towards him. The dim lighting does not hide your tear-streaked face. He cups your face for a moment, his thumb brushing under your eye before he leans forward, pressing a gentle kiss on your lips. The urge to stay angry at him gradually leaves as he tenderly cradles you to his chest.
“I think I’m ready to talk about it.” He breathes. “I understand if you don’t want to talk to me right now, but I just want you to know how I feel.” Because I cannot stand seeing you in pain like this.
“You always know the right thing to say.”
“You’re the only person who seems to think that.” You reply weakly.
“So do the kids,” He pauses. “Our kids.”
You open your mouth but he continues, laughing mirthlessly. “Well, they’re more like your kids. They don’t really, uh, like me that much.”
“That isn’t true.” You say.
“It is, damn it.” He mumbles. “They’re really happy, and I’m so glad you love them too. I mean, they’re not your own so I always thought it would be extra baggage or…no, that came out wrong. I mean, I don’t think they’re baggage but, you probably wanted somebody to have your own with; not that I would be any good at that either-”
“Toji.” You shake your head. “Nobody is any kind of baggage, okay?”
“I’m rambling.”
“So?”
“I’m…” His voice wavers. “I’ve never been good with kids. I won’t try to deny that, but…”
“…”
“You make it look so easy.” Toji laughs. “It used to make me jealous. Until you began to spend time with me.”
“At first, I thought it was an act, so it used to irk me but then over time it felt different. I have realized that you’ve been kind to me, and I know I have not reciprocated.”
“I’m not...used to affection. It’s difficult.” He admits. “I know that this is not a proper apology, but for what it’s worth, I do want to spend time with you. I don’t just want to throw a bunch of words at you without any kind of explanation. You shouldn’t be the one consoling me, because I hurt you. I just…” —He grasps your hand as he says this— “I really hope I can make it up to you.”
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You do not see much of Toji after that, but his words echo in your head. You have never seen Toji speak more than a couple of sentences strewn together, and yet his words were sincere, heartfelt. It is difficult to tell what the man was thinking but you knew that he would have rather stayed quiet, as was his habit; but he didn’t.
It confuses you.
“Toji-oh my god-” You gasp as he stumbles into the house, drenched in dirt, the side of his face caked with dried blood. He is limping, leaning against the wall to steady himself. You knew what kind of work he engaged in, but you had never seen him carry it out, and now you had a pretty steady idea of it.
“Ran into trouble.” Toji grunts, as if that would explain everything. His eyes, normally focused into a shark-like stare, were now darting back and forth, pupils narrowed into pinpoints. Part of his clothing were ripped in places, blood seeping out of the numerous lesions inflicted on him. You were surprised that he could stand so nonchalantly like it was a nothing out of the ordinary. Wait, did something of this sort happen every single time on his missions?
“I’m fine.” He murmurs, seeing your expression. You are not sure if he says it to console you, or if he is delirious from the blood loss and really does not register any sort of pain. You are horrified, but at the same time relieved. Delirious or not, at least he managed to find his way home from wherever the hell he had to go to.
“You need to wash your wounds.” You insist. Sleep has completely left you; you could not possibly sleep until you’re sure that he has been attended to.
You wince, and automatically place your hand on his chest, making sure to not brush over any of the horrendous-looking gashes which had broken through the skin, allowing the situation to sink in. He does not complain, and the only thing you hear is both of your breaths mixing, for the briefest of moments.
“I’m tired.”
“It’ll get infected, Toji.” More like several wounds. The best-case scenario was that he was going to bleed out on the bed for the rest of the night. The worst-case scenario? Most likely multiple infections which would result in a trip to the hospital. He hated being sick to begin with, much less having to stay inside a ward with other sick people and nurses who would constantly remind of it. He was tired. He decided that he was only willing to indulge you for the next couple of days.
When he peels off his shirt you try not to stare. The man looked like he had been fucking mauled in the streets. You really hoped he had taken his shots (no, not alcohol, that would just thin the blood. Shots as in injections).
“Just strip.” You sigh, and he raises an eyebrow.
“I can do it myself.”
“I insist.”
He scoffs. “If you wanted to see me naked, you could have just asked.”
“Are you stupid?” You snap at him, with little warning. “You look like you’ve been in three different accidents, I’m not just leaving you here. I don’t care how manly or whatever you’re feeling right now, because you also look like you’re going to bleed out into the goddamn floor.”
He’s scowling now; the dazed veil over his face completely gone. “Just go to bed.”
“No, you listen to me,” You hiss back. “Shut up and get in the bathtub.”
He’s still glaring at you like a petulant child, when he does. Part of you cannot believe that even in such situations, he chose to act aloof.
“Maybe where you’re from, you’re used to walking around having an 8-inch gash splitting your chest, but we don’t do that here.” You mutter.
“This is my house too.” “This is our house, and I’m calling the shots now, since you’re clearly not in the mood to.” His face is flushed red; clearly, he has never been scolded like this.
He winces when he sits down, the warm water stings his skin, as you bring a bundle of washcloths. He freezes when you reach for him, cupping the side of his cheek. It relaxes him somewhat—it is a luxury to have a home he could return to, even more so to have somebody waiting for him.
“Aren’t you going to ask me why I got them?” He mutters, half-expecting you to bombard him with questions he would be too tired to answer.
“I have one.”
“Go ahead, I think I can answer one before I faint.” He says, and your lips quirk up slightly. You wring the washcloth, gently dabbing it over his chest. He winces slightly, but does not protest.
“Whoever did this to you,” you say. “They look worse than you right?” Toji pauses for a moment, before grinning.
“Yeah, definitely.”
“Good.” You frown when you see that the water has changed to a faint shade of red. He watches you drain the tub before letting it fill up again. The sound of running water is repetitive yet soothing as he watches you methodically press the cloth over his skin, very gently scrubbing the dirt off unbroken skin. He shifts slightly to make the task either for you, yet can’t help but study the way your lips formed a tight line, your brows furrowed in concentration.
It's…cute.
Your gaze occasionally flickers to his. It looked ridiculous, the size of your palm against his broad back. You have to drain and fill the bathtub a third time, and a second bundle of washcloths before the water becomes clear, before focusing on a proper shower.
“You can do the rest yourself; I think.” You say, wringing the cloth a final time. You make a mental note to throw them in the washing machine in the morning, you didn’t want Megumi to see such a gruesome mess in the morning of his birthday; but it’s 3AM. After the initial height of adrenaline you got from trying to finish wrapping up the wounds, you were somewhat at ease after you managed to drag him in the bathroom. “I’ll wrap you up when you’re done. Don’t catch a cold.”
“I think you’re doing a better job than me.” Toji says, and you find no sarcasm in his voice. However, his eyes glint slightly, as if some idea had struck him.
“Weren’t you complaining about how much it was hurting a few minutes ago?” You tease.
“I changed my mind; I quite enjoy being fussed over by you.”
“Oh, so that’s what it’s about. Aren’t you the sort to prefer doing things by yourself, though?”
“Mmm. But I still think you will do it faster. Don’t you think I’m a bit clumsy when it comes to cleaning up?”
You snort. “I can tell from the way you enter the room, darling.”
He does not appear to sense the slight jab. “Plus,” He continues. “Haven’t you been working all day? I think you should have a nice, warm bath too.”
You blink, confused for a moment. “I mean it-wait-” Your mouth drops in horror when you realize the full intention of his words. His hands, which had been resting on your waist, tightened for a brief moment. You had not even noticed-
“Toji, no-” You gasp as you feel yourself stumbling sideways as he pulls you in with one swift movement. You collide with his chest, and yelp as your ankle collides with the side of the tub., as your hands wildly flail for something to hold on to. You fall into his arms; his hand clutching the back of your head to prevent you from hitting the wall. There is a loud splash with which half of the water from the bathtub spills out into the tiles, not before drenching your clothes completely. Toji is laughing, his voice loud and booming, his eyes screwed shut when he sees your bewildered expression.
“Oh my god, you’re horrible.” You hiss, rubbing your ankle before slapping the side of his arm, making sure to not aim over any of his injuries.
He grins. “That’s my consolation prize for yelling at me. Now strip.”
“Wha-” Your face reddens.
“Hurry up, you don’t want to catch a cold, yeah?” Did he just-
You glare at him and he sniggers. “Ass.” You murmur. “So this was your grand plan, huh?”
“I’m quite proud of it. I thought of it not more than a few seconds ago.” His fingers slightly tug at the hem of your shirt.
“How dastardly.” You mumble. At least the water is relatively clear, not that you could really take a bath without being distracted by his shit-eating grin while you sat on his lap. The bath was slightly bigger than a regular one, built to accommodate Toji’s huge frame, leaving you with ample space. Feeling your face heat up, you slowly began to strip, pulling the shirt over your head. It feels heavy from the water, sticking to your skin, and you struggle for a moment.
“Toji.” You groan as you hear him quietly start laughing again. “Shut up.”
He’s snickering when he helps you pull it off. You squeak when he begins to tug at your pants impatiently, lifting yourself up slightly to allow him to. Your hands awkwardly cover your chest in order to have some semblance of modesty. However, he clearly has different plans in mind when he pulls you up to his level, fulling pressed up against him.
“Be careful-your foot-”
“Ow-damn, this was way sexier in my head.”
“Pfft-”
He’s still smiling when you cup his face in your hands, gently lifting his face to kiss the top of his nose.
“Oh my god-” He rolls his eyes before pulling you in, planting his lips on yours. It’s a brief brush of the lips, not long enough; and before you know it, he pulls you closer, his fingers moving down the length of your back, while your hands run through his hair. Your skin tingled wherever he touched you, before settling into a warm sensation which rested on your chest; the butterflies in your stomach calming down to embrace the moment. You don’t remember the last time you have been kissed like this, and when you pull away his face is equally flushed as his breath fanned over your lips.
“You should have done that first.”
“I couldn’t think of a proper excuse.”
“Really?” You whisper, and he smiles against your lips.
“The excuse is that I haven’t seen you all day.” Toji says and kisses you again. It’s slower, sweeter.
“Okay, from now on you don’t need excuses to do it.”
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When Megumi wakes up, he finds himself snuggled up against her. Over time, he finds it easier to call her his Mom. Every time he does, he feels a pang of guilt; but from the way her face glows with pleasure, it softens the sting. The more the days pass, the less harsh the sting feels. He sometimes scolds himself when he does not feel it, but then consoles himself.
Mama would have wanted him to be happy.
He studies her face. She does not look like Mama at all, but when he sees how her hands grasps his, he thinks she’s beautiful, maybe not in the way Mama was, but beautiful nevertheless.
He shifts slightly, careful not to wake her up, but bumps against something else.
“Morning, Megs,” He freezes, then whips his head to meet his father’s eyes, shocked.
“Dad.” He croaks, wondering if he’s still dreaming at the moment. His father’s stoic expression is replaced by a softer one, most likely because he had been half-asleep before startling his father awake. Megumi exhales when his father’s features soften more when he offers him a smile. Suddenly he thinks he is going to cry. The weight in his throat becomes heavier when his fingers ruffle his hair.
“I’m sorry.” Megumi manages to say, before going quiet. His eyes are watering.
“’s bad luck to be sad on your birthday, peanut.” His father says, and he feels his hand rub his back. His father’s arms are rough, strong; familiar.
“Besides, I forgave you when you came back home.” He continues. “So don’t be sad, okay?”
“I was mean. I said I hated you.” Immediately the weight returns. “I’m sorry, I can’t believe I said that, I’ll never say that again-”
“I know Megumi. Don’t be sad, yeah? You’re safe, that’s really what matters.”
“Okay.” He mumbles, his hands reaching up to cling to his shirt. He sees a glimpse of the gauze wrapped carefully around his chest, and frowns. “What happened?”
“Just work, you know. I fell. Your mom patched me up.” He explains. Megumi does not miss the glow in his eyes when he mentions her. “Had to stay a bit longer so I could be home for your birthday.”
Oh. So that was why he had not seen him all day yesterday.
“You’ll be home, then?” Megumi asks. His dad smiles; it’s rare to see him in a good mood, but Megumi’s glad he is. He liked Dad better when he was happy. He talked more, held him more. It made him feel warm.
“Yeah, I’ll stay as long as you want.”
He sits up, hugging his dad. “Thanks.”
“ ’course. Birthdays are special.” He replies. “Hey, no crying. It makes me sad too.”
“No, I’m happy.” Megumi’s voice wavers. “I just feel-“
“That’s good.” Dad replies, his voice gruff. “I want you to be happy.”
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This really isn’t so bad, Toji manages to admit, when he sees you standing in front of the mirror, brushing your hair. A little frown etches your face as you scrutinize yourself, your fingers pawing at the ends of your hair.
“My hair’s grown some,” You muttered, before turning to look at him. “Toji, do you like it this way, or shorter?”
When he pauses, you continue, “If you like it long, I won’t cut it.”
“You look pretty either way, do what you like.” He mumbles, his eyes flickering elsewhere. You smile.
“That’s sweet of you to say.” You reply, as you began to part your hair into sections, wondering if it was long enough for you to braid it. Toji moves closer to stand behind you, curious. He watches you for a few moments before placing his arms around your shoulder. You look up at him, and the reflection falling on the mirror reminds you once more of how bulky he is.
“I like you.” He says, before kissing your cheek.
“I like you too.” You reply, letting out a breathy laugh.
Megumi decided to ask to go to the theme park to celebrate. He doesn’t remember the first time he had gone; and from Toji’s stories, he had immediately fallen in love with it.
“It’s so run down.” Toji complains, when the children are out of earshot. You raise an eyebrow.
“You were the one telling Megs about it.” You say, and he shrugs.
“I guess it seemed nicer when I was a kid.” He replies. “It’s one of the nicer memories. Not that it was exactly for me. I think it was Jinichi’s birthday.” You recall that name from the family tree tapestry, a single line connecting his name against Toji’s. His brother. You know very little about the Zenin clan, other than the usual banter which rose of from it being part of the Big Three. You’re just thankful for the little bits of information he tells you. Toji rarely spoke for long lengths of time, and you knew this was something painful for him to talk about to begin with.
“I once went with my sister.” You say, suddenly remembering. “I think we were both seven. Ayako spilled her milkshake all over me. I think I cried for the rest of the evening.”
“Really? I thought you were the quiet type even as a kid.”
You grin. “I’ll show you pictures sometime. I think I brought my album. It’s probably collecting dust in the attic.”
Toji looks at you, then shakes his head, his lips slightly quirked up. “I don’t believe you.”
“I’m serious! I made a fuss about everything when I was younger. If only you knew me, you could have vouched for it.”
Toji thinks about when he was younger. Mostly cooped up in his room, because he was not allowed to talk to the other clan members. Jinichi used to visit him sometimes, but then stopped, the clan’s poisonous words perhaps getting to him at a young age. It was clear when you were at the receiving end of it.
He sometimes walked out. It was not like anybody would come looking for him anyway. He walks for a long, long time, until he stops, seeing a group of kids his age playing at the park. Clothes which looked brand new compared to his dusty yukata ridden with holes, no welts on their arms or legs.
He stares for a bit, not at any particular person in particular. His heart ached for somebody to talk to. But when he looks at them and then back to his own self, his hands tremble and his feet grow unsteady. He stands there for some time before making back to the Zenin Estate.
He tries to imagine a younger you running up to him and dragging him back to the park. Probably pointedly asking him about his appearance; children did not exactly speak with any filter after all; and then asking him to join you.
Yes, you did seem like the kind of person to do that. Perhaps he would have liked it.
A/N;; Y'all are too kind 😭😭😭 💜💜💜
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golden-barnes · 4 years ago
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Audacity
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Pairing: Bucky Barnes x F!Reader
Summary: Bucky has a long list of reasons to hate John Walker. But the fake Captain America deciding to flirt with you, definitely takes the cake.
Category: Smut 18+
Warning: Jealous Bucky is just soft dom! Bucky, dirty talk, penetrative sex, slight chocking, closet sex, and just John Walker being annoying
Word count: 1.9k
Author’s note: trying out this new format bc I liked the way it look when I did the Spencer Reid fic. A small spoiler warning for the newest FATWS episode but other than that it’s like an AU bc this really has nothing to do with yesterdays’ episode. Comment and reblog pls and thank you!
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There’s a lot to hate about John Walker. The fact that he is trying to replace Steve as a cheap version of Captain America. His stupid face and the way he handles the shield. Even the way he speaks comes off as pretentious and arrogant.
But what really made Bucky seethe with anger is the fact that his little beady eyes would not stop looking at you. Undressing you with his eyes. Taking in every move and gesture you made. It made Bucky’s blood boil. He kept clenching and unclenching his fist. How haven’t you noticed his insisting fucking starring? 
“Can you chip your teeth? Because I’m pretty sure you might by how clenched your jaw” Sam said, patting Bucky on the back. He just rolled his eyes but decided not to say anything. 
There was nothing that can be done. They made a silent pack not to anger the imposter. The government had asked Sam, Bucky and you to help out with a smuggling ring that they have discovered and low and behold, their little Captain America got his ass handed to him. They basically begged them to help. Bucky almost screamed a Fuck no into their faces but you managed to hold him off from punching the soldier that appeared at your apartment. 
You turned around and bent over to pick up something. You were unaware that the fake Captain America licked his crusty lips while looking at you. He kept eying you like a piece of meat. Bucky rolled his eyes again and turned to Sam who was quietly reading the reports.
“Can I punch him?” Bucky whispered to Sam.
“Do you want your pardon to be revoked?” Sam said to him, not even looking up from the reports.
“There’s nobody here. Y/N won’t say anything. You definitely won’t mind.” Bucky whispered, glaring at the blond man that kept staring at you. You clearly didn’t give a shit about him. Therefore, why was he still looking at you?
Sam rolled his eyes at his ex-assassin friend. “Yeah, and later we can steal the shield.” Sam looked up from the reports and pushed them to the side. 
“Exactly! Yeah, now that’s a plan.” Bucky said excitedly, standing up from his chair trying to make his way to John before being stopped by Sam, who grabbed his friend by the arm and pulled him back into his chair. Before Bucky could protest, he heard you whistle at them. 
“Hey, guys! I think I have something.” You said. The three men surrounded you, while you were explaining how you found out the new base location for the smuggling ring.
Bucky tried his best to focus on what you were saying and your explanation, but he couldn’t help but notice that the Kmart version of Captain America was inching closer and closer to you. Didn’t this man have a wife? Bucky swore he read that somewhere. Why does he keep staring and getting closer to you?
“Oh! Sorry, ma’am.” The jackass said, when he “accidentally” bumped into you, he grabbed your waist and forearm to stabilize you. 
“It’s okay.“ You told him, and let out a soft chuckle. Bucky felt his pen explode in his hand. The three of you turned to the pouty super soldier who just rolled his eyes and went back to looking at the schematics. 
You knew something was up with Bucky. He didn’t say anything. Not after the pen exploding incident. Not even when you were joking around with Sam. He loved making witty comebacks to your jokes. It was your thing. 
But maybe it was John Walker’s presence that made it uncomfortable for him. You knew Bucky hated the guy, mostly cause he took Steve’s spot without earning it. But there was something more to this. Bucky has always had a staring problem, but the number of sharp glares he has been sending to Walker has been enough to alert anyone. You couldn’t comfort him, not without making it super apparent that you are dating. And Bucky had already expressed that he doesn’t want to publicize it unless it’s only Sam that’s around. 
“Agent Y/L/N, I think I found something,” Torres said, signaling to you to go follow him upstairs. You took one last look at Bucky, who was still glaring at the oblivious John Walker.
“Damn, I don’t know how you guys get any work done with that around you all the time,” John said, staring at you walking up the stairs. More specifically, staring at your ass. 
Bucky looked at Sam, almost begging him to let him punch the douchebag that is this man. But Sam gripped his forearm. Bucky will not lose his pardon like this. 
“How about we focus on the damn mission?” Bucky almost growled. John Walker put his hands up.
“I’m sorry man. It’s just- look at her.” John sat back and leaned into his chair. From the distance, he could see you talking to Torres. 
“C’mon man. You asked us for our help but we aren’t here to do all the work.” Sam said trying to be the peacemaker between the super-soldier with a murderous gaze and the soldier with the wondering eyes.
“Yeah. Yeah sorry.” John said trying to go back to the records. You were descending from the stairs and walking over to them. John brought his attention back to you. The way your hips would sway when you walked. The confidence in every step. Everything Bucky loved, and apparently fucking John did too.
“Guys, I think we need to rest for today. I am a little bit burned out. I think we all are.” You said, with your hands on your hips. Bucky felt his heart clench, you did look tired. Especially because you were almost doing all the work and piecing all of the clues. 
“That’s an incredible idea.” Sam said stretching in his chair. He also looked tired. It made Bucky feel bad that he has been focusing all his energy on glaring and not helping out. He almost felt guilty.
Almost because a surge of rage flows through him again. John “Can’t take a hint” Walker smirked at you while you were grabbing the files that were on the table. 
Bucky didn’t even give you a chance to say goodbye. To Sam or the annoying motherfucker that made Bucky want to break rule number 2.
“Woah, Buck. what are you doing?” You said while the brunet dragged you around the base. His grip on your forearm was hard but not enough for it to hurt. Bucky wouldn’t hurt you, not in any way you wouldn’t like it. 
There was something about how Bucky was walking, the silence, the way he was searching for something but never letting go of you.
Bucky opened up a closet door. 
“Get in, doll.”  He whispered in your ear, in a low deep voice. You let out a gasp, feeling goosebumps all over your body. You looked at Bucky in the eyes, and you knew he wasn’t in the mood for a fight. You entered the closet space without protesting.
It was a small storage closet. It barely had anything in it so you felt cramped. You turned to Bucky, while he closed the door. The man stalked towards you and you walked backward till your back hit the wall. Bucky had you cornered, and you didn’t mind it.
“Did you have fun, doll?” Bucky said, getting close to your face. His hands went to your hips, pulling you towards him. 
“Buck, what are you talking about?” You whispered to him. Bucky rolled his eyes and took one of his hands off your hips. Placing it on your neck, lightly applying some pressure to it. You gasped at his touch, he chuckled a bit at your reaction. 
“C’mon darling. Did you have fun playing around with the imposter Captain America? I mean he had fun looking at you. So I’m assuming that you had fun being looked at.” He said, with his hand still on your neck and his face inches away from your face. You looked at your boyfriend with wide eyes.
“Oh, you didn’t notice that. Well, I did. Maybe I should teach you who do you belong to. Would you like that sweetheart?” He said, his breath tickling your lip. You nodded, breathless. Bucky smiled at you.
The hand that was around your neck, went to your chin. Grabbing it and pulling you closer so that your lips would meet. His hands started to wander across your body, while yours looped around his neck. 
Your kisses started to grow hungrier, more desperate. As if Bucky spotted kissing you, you would fade away. His hands reached the zipper of your pants and pulled it down. Not even breaking from your kiss, Bucky managed to push your pants down. You break from your kiss to get out of them, while Bucky took off his pants and underwear.
He didn’t wait. He pushed you softly back on the wall and started to leave kisses and soft bites all over your neck. 
“Jump, baby girl,” He said softly against your skin, patting your butt.
 And you did just so. Wrapping your legs around his waist, with one of his hands on your ass and another moving your panties to the side. 
“Hold that there, baby. Let me make you feel so good.” Holding his neck with one hand, you moved another hand to hold your panties to the side, to make it easy for him.
“Good girl.”And with one thrust, he was inside you, hitting all the spot. You moaned and gripped the back of his neck tightly.
“Like that doll? Can anyone else do this to you uhn? C’mon doll give me everything you got.” With every word that came out of his mouth, he would thrust hard and deep into you. You felt lightheaded. Your legs tightening around his waist but his thrust wouldn’t stop.
“Fuck, Buck. Don’t stop.” You gasped. Bucky kept kissing your neck. Overloading your senses. You were close, you knew it. Bucky knew it. You could feel him grin against your skin.
“Who makes you feel this good, doll?” He asked. You gasped at his sudden change in pace. He started to thrust more desperately, less controlled. He was close too.
“You. Fuck, only you.Shit, Bucky. I’m going to cum.”  Bucky smirked at you.
“Then cum, doll.” Bucky silenced your cries with his lips. Still thrusting into you, letting you ride your high and getting to his. And that wouldn’t be long.
With one final thrust, Bucky came. He gave you a soft kiss on the lips and let you down.
“I love you, James Buchanan Barnes.” You said, putting on your pants.
“I love you too, Y/N.” He smiled at you. You slapped his chest lightly, which made him laugh.
“I hope you realize that I would never go with discount Captain America over there.” You joked which made Bucky laugh even harder. You both were dressed and tried to look as decent as you could to leave the closet and the base.
“Let’s hope that fucking in an army base won’t be the reason you lose your pardon.” You said, grabbing Bucky’s hand, to give him reassurance. He gave you a smirk.
“Maybe if we let them watch, they won’t take it away,” Bucky replied to you, giving you a wink. 
“Yeah and get John Walker to join would also help your case.” Bucky stopped in his tracks and looked at you.
“Oh, you are gonna get it when we get home.” Now it was your turn to wink at your boyfriend.
“I’m hoping I do.” Bucky shook his head but pulled you closer to him. Wrapping his arm around your shoulders, walking towards the exit of the base. Confident that John Walker couldn’t take you away from him.
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crankynewt · 4 years ago
Text
Good for a Weekend (Helmut Zemo)
Masterlist
Summary: You were retired, a disgraced Avenger content living the rest of their life out in solitude. But Sam and Bucky's shenanigans dragged you back into the hero life and you found yourself face to face with the man who'd got you into this mess in the first place. The question is, however, is he really who you thought he was? Or are you just as crazy as him?
Pairing: Helmut Zemo x Reader
Warnings: TFAWS Episode 3 Spoilers, Zemo (he's a warning), swearing, mentions of torture and experimenting (past), drinking, Zemo being semi-protective, I think that's it??
Word Count: 3.41k
Author's Note: Biting the bullet and writing this BEFORE Marvel does something to get us to hate him again. Also, ZEMO AND BLANK SPACE WORK SO WELL TOGETHER OMG.
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“You’ve got to be shitting me.” You murmured, looking at the message from Sam flashing across your phone. Although you had stopped dead in your tracks, the chaos of the bustling streets of London continued around you. You pushed your sunglasses further up your nose, them having fallen down as you were peering at the screen of your burner cell.
‘Need your help in Madripoor ASAP,’ the text read. You weren’t daft, you knew exactly what kind of lawless entropy happened on that Indonesian island and if Sam was asking for your help, that meant he was in some deep shit.
‘I’m retired,’ you replied, glancing over your shoulder out of habit. Although you’d been pardoned after the Berlin incident by the government, you were still a disgraced Avenger in the eyes of the world. All you wanted was to live the rest of your life out in peace, a future without the world-saving you began when you left HYDRA with the Maximoff twins.
You hadn’t chosen to become a human lab rat, tortured and exposed to the mind stone until you could suddenly hear the thoughts of others in your head. Telepathy and telekinesis were not necessarily the kind of special skills that employers wanted to see on a resume, but alas, here you were. Thankfully, however, you'd learned to block them out until necessary to violate people's privacy. Fighting aliens and other superpowered entities, including the people you’d once considered to be your family, were in the past.
‘Please. It’s Bucky,’ Sam messaged again. Those three words were enough to make your blood run cold and your heart stop. Bucky was the reason you were in this mess in the first place, and you would be damned if the ex-assassin was going to fall back into the clutches of evil.
With a sigh, you typed back ‘fine’ and began the trek towards your apartment. Your phone was vibrating again immediately, Sam explaining that they would be picking you up at a small airstrip on the edge of the city.
Three hours later, you were walking along a long, concrete runway, the harsh England wind attacking your body as you pulled your leather jacket tighter around you. Your brows furrowed in confusion at the sight of a civilian jet rather than the military-esque vessels you’d become accustomed to. The steps were awaiting your ascent with an older man stood adjacent to the entrance.
“Ms.(Y/L/N),” he greeted. A thick accent laced his tone, one you couldn’t quite determine from the crackling of age in his voice. German or Russian, most likely, you deduced. Attempting to be polite despite your skepticism, you gave him a tight-lipped smile and handshake before the elder man gestured towards the stairs for you. Entering the jet, you turned right to be met with the familiar faces of Sam and Bucky.
“(Y/N)!” Bucky exclaimed, rising from his seat and embracing you in a hug. He held you tightly against his body, almost as if he wasn’t sure you were really there. The super soldier had taken a liking to you when the two of you stayed in Wakanda during your exile, both of you having a certain understanding of the other due to your shared experiences with HYDRA. The sergeant had become somewhat of a brother to you in your time away together. “What are you doing here?”
“Sam messaged me.” You replied, Barnes’ arms immediately releasing you as he whipped around to face Sam.
“You tattled on me to (Y/N)?” He scoffed. If looks could kill, Sam would have dropped dead from the darkness in Bucky’s orbs.
“Wait, if he’s okay then what am I here for?” You said, shifting your gaze to Sam as you raised a brow.
“You’re here to make sure that he stays in line.” Sam snapped, crossing his arms over his chest as Bucky let out an exasperated ‘Jesus Christ’ under his breath.
“Bucky’s fine, Sam.” You replied, rubbing your face with your hand in annoyance as you glanced at the super-soldier.
“He’s not talking about James.” A new voice sounded from behind you, one both vaguely familiar but also strange. Whipping around, you were met with a face you’d only ever seen through a screen. Zemo.
“What the fuck is he doing out of prison?!” You exclaimed, looking between Sam and Bucky in utter disbelief.
“Bucky broke him out of jail!” Sam exclaimed, pointing a finger towards the super-soldier.
“Sam’s the one who pulled me into this mess!” Bucky pointed back.
“You two morons have reached a whole new level of dumbassery!” You exclaimed, keeping a cautious gaze on Zemo in the corner of your eye. “You broke out the man who ripped apart the Avengers out of jail and you let him do it?! The same man who killed King T’Chaka! Do neither of you remember what T’Challa and the people of Wakanda just did for us after we became enemies of the state?! I cannot believe that you would betray their trust and help this monster to escape!”
You paused for a moment, breathing heavily as you looked at the ashamed faces of Bucky and Sam in front of you.
“I’m sorry to-” You heard Zemo begin, you turned to face him with utter rage shining in your eyes. “No! The grown-ups are talking, you can wait your turn.” You scolded him, almost as you would a child but just a tad harsher. Grown-ups may have also not have been the best choice of words to describe Wilson and Barnes.
“I don’t want any part of this suicide mission!” You snapped at the duo, moving to leave.
Thirty minutes later, however, you were still on the jet, glaring into a pair of brown eyes as the four of you flew through the air. Honestly, you couldn’t believe you were still there, but Sam and Bucky knew you too well and pushed just the right buttons to convince you to stay. Sam needed you to tap into Zemo’s mind if need be to figure out if he was planning on betraying them, and you didn’t want two of the last people you trust getting themselves killed if you could prevent it.
Tweedle-dee and Tweedle-dum were sitting across from each other, meaning that you got stuck sitting across from the Baron in silence. He shifted uncomfortably under your gaze, the darkness in your (Y/E/C) orbs not sitting well with the man.
“So, you read minds.” He began, rubbing his hands together anxiously. You noted the nervous tick and couldn’t help but feel amused at his discomfort, but your expression never faltered.
“You don’t need to make small talk.” You bit, your icy tone growing colder in every syllable.
“I’m genuinely curious, is all.” He began, pausing his fiddling to brush his hair back only to resume it once more. “It just seems like for someone with your abilities, you’re often an overlooked member of the team. You’re the most powerful, even more so than Maximoff or Banner, perhaps, yet you were never truly an Avenger, were you?”
“It doesn’t matter, I’m retired.” You muttered, ending your glaring to gaze out the window. The way Zemo spoke about you was unsettling, especially considering how he felt about the Avengers. He seemed not to think that you were part of the team, similarly to Bucky, and that brought you a feeling of unease.
“And why is that?” Zemo pushed, your avoidance evidence that he’d struck a chord.
“Why do you care?” You scoffed, looking back at the Sokovian man, both annoyance and exhaustion present in your tone.
“Because I think you’re like me.” He answered, his tone becoming quieter. Zemo didn’t look at you with the same rage you’d seen in footage from 2016, nor with the amusement that he gazed at Bucky and Sam with. No, it was something different, softer and analytical, perhaps. You wanted to peer into his mind for something, anything to figure out what he was thinking, but he would likely feel your prodding into his consciousness. As of now, he didn’t seem to have any plans to betray you guys, and you wouldn’t be the one to give him a reason.
“That’s enough from you.” Bucky interrupted, rising from his seat to switch places with you, his brotherly possessiveness clear as day.
The rest of the flight was uneventful, and Zemo provided the three of you with costumes for the roles you were to play in Madripoor. Yours seemed to have been designed specifically to be horribly uncomfortable, both in feel and the amount of skin that was exposed in the cool evening air. The three of you were making your way towards the glowing city shining in the distance, the nerves in your stomach rising with each step.
“Only an American would assume a fashion-forward Black man looks like a pimp.” Zemo explained in response to Sam’s protests over his own outfit. “You look exactly like the man you’re supposed to be playing. The sophisticated, charming African rake named Conrad Mack, aka the Smiling Tiger.”
“He even has a bad nickname.” Sam said, looking at the picture of Conrad on the phone Zemo had just handed him. “Hell, he does look like me though.”
“And who am I supposed to be playing, exactly?” You questioned, still unsure as to what role you would be playing in this scheme.
“My partner,” Zemo said simply, an amused smile working his way onto his lips.
“What?! No! Nu-uh, I’m not doing that!” You protested, Sam chuckling at your denial of what was probably inevitable.
“Would you rather the alternative of all of us getting slaughtered the second we step foot into the city?” Zemo retorted, still humored by your resistance.
“Fine, but if you try anything I’m going to break your nose.” You gave in.
"I wouldn't expect anything less."
Soon, the four of you were making your way into a bar, Helmut’s arm wrapped tightly around your waist since the second you exited the car in a mock possessiveness. It was all part of the charade, you had to remind yourself, as the Baron kept your side pressed against his snugly.
Making your way up to the counter, the bartender didn’t look impressed to see the group of you there as he made his way over to you.
“Hello,” He began. “Wasn’t expecting you, Smiling Tiger.”
“His plans changed. We have a business to do, with Selby.” Zemo interjected before Sam could respond.
“The usual?” The bartender ignored Zemo and turned his attention back to Sam, who simply gave a curt nod in response. The bartender turned, grabbing a snake from a jar and slicing it down the underside with a blade. A part of you wanted to cackle, especially seeing Sam stiffen beside you, and you didn’t doubt that Bucky was having to restrain himself as well. Zemo didn’t seem surprised as the bartender pulled who knows what out from the snake and placed it into a glass.
“Smiling Tiger, your favorite.” The Baron commented, the bartender sliding Sam his beverage only to pour two glasses of a different liquor for Zemo and yourself.
“I love these,” Sam said, raising to clink glasses with yourself and the Sokovian man whose arm was still draped around you.
“Cheers, Conrad,” Zemo replied, smiling back at poor Sam. The three of you downed your burning liquor, Sam struggling the most out of the three of you, clearly appalled by the organ at the bottom of his shot. You could see Bucky give a little nod in the corner of your eye, knowing he must be finding this as amusing as you were.
A man soon approached Helmut from behind, tapping him on the shoulder before he turned to face the stranger, shifting you with him. When Zemo felt the little nudge, he immediately pulled you closer to him. You were even tighter against him now, so much so that you had to wrap an arm around him as well to stabilize yourself. It was almost as if he was trying to shield you from the man despite him knowing full well that you can hold your own.
“I got word from on high; you ain’t welcome here.” He spat, getting too close to the two of you for either of your likings. But Zemo kept his air of indifference while you instinctually moved closer into his side. It’s all an act, remember? You have to play the part of the clingy partner who would get frightened at such a rough man threatening you two. Or at least, that’s what you told yourself.
“I have no business with the Power Broker, but if he insists, he can either come and talk to me…” Zemo began, trailing off as he gestured to Bucky.
“New haircut?” The strange man asked Bucky, who merely glowered in response.
“Or bring Selby for a chat.” Zemo finished, this time him being the one to get into the man’s face. Thankfully that was enough to send him away, most likely to Selby or this Power Broker who seems to be Madripoor’s own version of Big Brother.
You could feel Zemo let out a breath that you don’t think he even knew he was holding, giving a quick glance down at you before placing a peck on your temple. For the facade, of course. But what wasn’t fake were the butterflies rise in your stomach, something that you hadn’t felt in a long time. Were you… Flustered?
No, you reminded yourself internally. This was a very bad man holding you close, the same one who killed the former King of Wakanda and ripped your team to shreds. Not only that, but he hated all the Avengers, so why did he seem to like you? It doesn’t matter whether or not he likes you, he’s Zemo. But the more time you spent with him, the more intoxicated you became. He was starting to look more and more like your next mistake, and love is certainly not a game you wanted to be playing with him. Right?
The next thirty or so minutes were a blur. Bucky having to fake being the Winter Soldier to kick a bunch of men’s asses to finally meeting up with Selby, only for Sam to break your cover through a phone call and Selby quickly being shot. The four of you promptly exited the bar, attempting to remain inconspicuous until bounty hunters from all around started shooting at you. Bucky and Sam jumped forward, meanwhile, Zemo darted to the right, dragging you with him as he moved his hand from your waist to interlock your fingers.
You cut through alleyway after alleyway, hiding in the shadows as gunfire echoed around you. Eventually, you managed to catch up with Bucky and Sam, approaching the pair with your hand still in his.
“Well this is too perfect.” A female voice interrupted your mini-reunion, Sharon Carter emerging from the shadows as she ripped down her hood, gun fixated on Zemo.
“Drop it Zemo,” She started, Zemo raising his gun-holding hand before lowering the weapon to the ground. “You cost me everything.”
“Sharon, wait.” You reasoned, raising your hand as you slowly backed up.
“What, are you his lover now? His sugar baby or some shit?” She badgered you, causing your eyes to widen as you only just remembered that you were still holding his hand. You quickly dropped it, raising it to match your other arm as Zemo sent you a look that you couldn’t decipher. Oh, how desperately you wanted to look into his mind, but the little bit of sanity left in you told you to leave it be.
“Someone recreated the super-soldier serum and Zemo had a lead,” Sam explained.
“That explains why you guys are here. And Selby’s dead.” Sharon replied, gun still pointed at your group.
“So what are you doing here?” Bucky questioned the blonde.
“I stole Steve’s shield, remember? I also took the wings for your ass so that you could save his ass from his ass and became a criminal with their ass.” She explained, pointing the gun at each mention of whoever's ass it was that turn. “Unlike you, I didn’t have the Avengers to back me up, so, I’m off the grid in Madripoor.”
“Hey, don’t blow that smoke. I was on the run, too.” Sam rebutted Sharon’s complaints.
“Was. Is. Big difference. I don’t speak to my family anymore - I can’t. My own father doesn’t know where I am.”
“Listen…” You began. “Sharon, we need your help, the former agent only laughing in response. “Please.”
“This isn’t over.” She conceded, shaking her head at you. “I have a place in High Town, you should be safe there for a while.”
Sharon’s place was definitely nicer than yours is now, and you’re not even on the run anymore. She, thankfully, had a change of clothes for you to slip into, the soft material much a welcome relief from the tortuous item Zemo had you wearing.
While you were waiting for Sharon’s guests to begin arriving for whatever event would soon be taking place downstairs, everybody slowly filtered out of the room until it was only Zemo and yourself remaining.
“Can I ask you a question?” You spoke up, breaking the silence from your spot on the sofa as you glanced towards the Baron seated across the room.
“Ask away.” He smiled, taking a sip from the amber liquid in his glass.
“What did you mean earlier, when you said we were the same.” Your voice was quiet now, so much so that you weren’t sure if he’d even heard you. That is until he got up from his seat and slowly walked towards you.
“I never wanted to tear the Avengers apart, not until they killed my family. Destroyed my city… Sure, I didn’t like them, but I didn’t want to destroy them. It was all about vengeance.” He began, sitting beside you on the yellow fabric. “For you, it was HYDRA who ruined your life. You joined the Avengers because it was where the last people you had left were going and it was the easiest way for you to ensure the organization was destroyed. You never wanted the idolization that came with being a hero, and it was clear when your work was done that you had no desire to keep going. Everything that came after the Sokovia Accords was out of survival.”
“I’m not saying you're right,” you began, “but what would that make me, then? Insane? Cause that seems to be the running theory.”
“You’re not crazy, despite how rumors fly. Neither am I, really.” He began, eliciting a small smile from you at the last bit he added. “You’re a fighter, someone doing whatever it takes to get their agenda done. Whether that means breaking the law or joining the Avengers, nothing will stop you once you put your mind to it - it’s one of the things I admire about you.”
You pursed your lips as you focused on the amber fluid floating in its crystalline home, him taking another sip of the burning liquid. Your gaze shifted back to his face, and oh god, look at that face. Maybe it was the liquor in your system already or maybe your last bit of sanity was finally escaping your mind, but suddenly his past didn’t seem to matter anymore. You had plenty of red on your ledger as well, and the more he spoke the more you began to sympathize with him.
“So you admire me?” You smirked, crossing your arms as you tilted your head slightly to the right playfully.
“Why don’t you look into my mind and tell me?” He replied. Reaching out, you gently placed your fingers against his temple as you gazed into his consciousness. Flashes of magic and madness, ideas of a love that could be forever or go down in flames. You didn’t go searching deeper, because your own mind was racing. Would pursuing this be worth all the pain that could very well follow? No, not could, would. You’d be betraying your former teammates, but what did that matter much anymore.
Rather than pulling your hand away, you placed your lips gently on his, tentatively, even. He tasted of expensive liquor and a hint of peppermint, and you found yourself intoxicated. The kiss ended far too soon for your liking, him pulling away so his brown orbs could gaze into your own.
“So… What do you say?” He asked, cupping your cheek in his hand, you place your own over top of his.
“Why not?” You smiled back, reconnecting your lips to his.
“I can make the bad guys good for a weekend.”
Taglist:
@fanfictionedagain @lam-ila @b0nnyzz @haydieenzzibug @cyanide-mustard @duchess-of-new-shire @the-chocoholic-writer @milenadixon @real-fbi @golddenlioness
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matchablossomwrites · 3 years ago
Note
Hi, I really like your writing!! Can I request Mikey and Izana (u can add more if u want to) react to them hitting their s/o during an argument and how would they apologize ? Angst with comfort, also gn!reader pls (im craving for angst and fluff rn :DD) U don’t need to if u don’t want to write it ofc :)) I respect ure decision ^^ thanks for ure time ❤️
Hey hey hey! Thank you so much for this request! I had a ton of fun writing it ^^ I hope it's up to par with your expectations. I'm so sorry it took this long. I've had an incredibly busy week with my new job and college, but I did my best! I hope you have a wonderful day/night.
Sano 'Mikey' Manjiro
"y/n I don't want to see you right now. Just leave before you regret staying here any longer" he warned "Leave" The air grew more and more icy with each word that came out of his mouth.
You just wanted to check up on him. He'd been so distant lately and this is how he thanks you? You were so worried. Anger boiled up inside of you as you stared at the man in front of you.
His expression was blank. He was going to snap soon. patience was wearing thin for both parties. He didn't exactly have a good day. Things went terribly wrong today and Baji Keisuke had died a few months prior and he was cycling through the stages of grief. The last thing he needed was for you to show up out of the blue like this and confront him now
But it's not like you knew this. You knew Baji had died and you were still easing through grief yourself. God you missed him, but you were coming to terms with the fact that there was no way to turn back time and save him. Mikey was still coping with this. They were best friends. of course this was something that would affect him way more than it would affect you.
"Huh? Are you really telling me this? Mikey I've been so worried about you and this is the thanks I get? I came here to check up on you and even took the day off to spend it with you. I could've been spending my time in so many other ways but I came to check up on you because I care about you!" you yelled you were angry to the point of yelling. Things were getting more and more tense.
Anger boiled inside of him. it was becoming unbearable. "And guess what? I don't care. I don't care that you took all this time off for me. Absolutely no one asked you to be a tragic hero and try to fix me. I don't need fixing. So, I'll say this one more time because apparently you don't know how to take a hint. Go. away." he hissed as his smile turned into a frown.
"Baji wouldn't have wanted you to push us away, you know. He would have-" you began.
However you weren't able to finish your sentence as you felt a stinging sensation on your cheek.
"Shut up! You don't know what he would've wanted! I don't know! You don't fucking know either! Ok?" he hissed as he narrowed his eyes at you. "You don't understand now and you'll never understand! So don't tell me that he wouldn't want me to act like this or whatever! Got it! Because you will never FUCKING know." he growled as he went to point at you.
Suddenly, he was brought back to reality by the sound of you whimpering as you covered your head, attempting to protect yourself. You were too afraid to say anything else to further upset him. You tried so hard not to cry, but with the stinging paired with fear tears cascaded down your face as you attempted to protect yourself from him. "Please don't hurt me.. I'm sorry" you apologized
"Oh god..." he trembled. "oh god, oh god, oh god. what have I done? y/n I'm so sorry." Mikey's eyes widened as he looked at your shaking form in front of him. He attempted to reach out and hold you, however his sudden movement scared you, causing you to flinch.
It was then that he realized the damage he'd done. Guilt hit him like a semi truck. "baby please don't cry. I'm so sorry I let this happen. I never meant to hurt you." he choked out, voice wavering. At that moment all of his emotions that he had been bottling up came pouring out like a waterfall. all the anger, despair, loneliness, and guilt finally made themselves known.
Seeing him break down in front of you made you realize how much he was truly hurting. "P-Please don't go. I'm so sorry." he whimpered. "I never meant for you to see me like that. I'm a monster god I'm so sorry." he apologized. The more you saw him break down the more you realized how bad he truly felt about this.
So, you resigned even though alarm bells were still softly blaring in your head and allowed yourself to be embraced by him. "Don't leave me... please" he whimpered. At this point you both were crying, though neither of you cared that your jackets were getting wet. you weren't sure what to say.
So, you decided not to say anything and let him calm down as you attempted to calm down yourself. Once you both calmed down, Mikey pulled away to look you in the eyes. "Please don't go... I can't lose you too" he begged as he held your face in his hands. He was trembling, absolutely terrified of what he'd done to you. You were his lifeline. He needed you. "I've got you. I promise I'm not going anywhere. I care about you, Mikey, and it hurts to see you like this." you sighed as you gazed at him with a soft expression.
It was then Mikey broke down again. though not for the same reason. It was because he was so grateful he had someone like you by his side. Someone so forgiving and compassionate. "I love you" he whimpered. "Thank you"
"I love you too"
Izana Kurokawa
Things weren't always like this. You were sure of it. But lately your nights were filled with screaming and harsh words. Despite this it was never anything too bad. Either he'd apologize with a bouquet of red tulips, white orchids, and purple hyacinths or a teddy bear and chocolates
But this... this was too far.
You don't really remember how it happened if you were honest. One moment you were having a peaceful conversation. However the moment you brought up Mikey since you'd recently met him at your school.
That's when the mood got sour. He'd said a few things and you retorted with your own set of phrases. Soon the fight grew personal. things were going too far. Both of you were saying things you really didn't mean, but since you both were in the heat of the moment there was no longer a filter stopping you from saying those harsh words and phrases.
Things peaked when he harshly shoved you against the wall in a fit of rage. You were terrified of him, but you didn't dare let him know that. you tried to shove him away but he slapped you. That's when you have had enough. You packed your things, not saying a word to him. Then, when he was asleep you quietly made your escape.
When he woke up however he was shocked and scared. He looked around the shared apartment. there were no signs of you anywhere. His chest rose and fell rapidly as he tried to figure out his next steps, but his thoughts were preventing him from doing so.
Has he finally done it? Had he finally driven you away to the point of never wanting to see him again? He understood if you did. He knows that what he did wasn't right, but he still wanted to make one final attempt at reconciliation and if it failed, all he could do was accept that.
But where have you gone? He had no absolute clue, however he knew you were good friends with Kakucho, so he dialed up his best friend, praying to whatever cruel god was out there that you were at least still alive and safe.
After a few rings Kakucho picked up. In a panicked state he began explaining what he had done, though Kakucho stopped him. "they don't want to see you right now. Leave them alone." he replied, clearly feeling bad for the other party. "Are they with you?" he asked. "No" he replied. "Are you lying to me?" Izana asked. "no." he sighed. "Where do you think they would go if they had no where else to go, Izana?" Kakucho asked.
Their parents. The answer was glaringly obvious but he was so panicked it didn't even cross his mind. "But, Izana now is not the time. Please. Give it a few days. Imagine how they feel." Kakucho replied. "fine..." he sighed.
The next few days Izana spent thinking of what to say and how to apologize. The more he thought over that night, the more he realized he fucked up. As he sat at a table at a cafe that had been your first date with him, he saw you crossing the road, talking with Kokonoi and Inui who also happened to be your friends.
However the more he looked the more he realized that even though you were smiling it wasn't reaching your eyes. It then dawned how much he had truly hurt you. He then raced towards you, not caring if others were watching.
He didn't give a fuck about how crazy he looked in that moment as he sprinted towards you because he knew that if he prolonged this any longer it would only hurt you even more. "y/N!" he yelled, causing you to jolt, effectively capturing your attention as well as Inui and Kokonoi's as well.
"The hell do you want?" Kokonoi hissed as he protectively put his arm in front of you. "Can't you see they don't want to see you! You slapped them and hurt them and you have the AUDACITY to come out here and follow us!?" "Koko... it's ok. Thank you for caring about my safety" you smiled softly at the taller man while Inui glared at Izana. "Fuck this up and I promise you, you won't be allowed to be even within a continent of them" Inui growled before they walked away, allowing the two fo you your privacy.
The two of you then decided to talk it over at the cafe he'd been sitting at. As the two of you sat down, it was then you finally got a good look at him. There were bags under his eyes, his hair was disheveled, and he was distraught.
"y/n I'm so sorry. You deserve so much better... It wasn't your fault to begin with. This whole mess was my fault and... and it wasn't your fault. It was never your fault. I was out of line. God you must hate me... you can't even look at me in the eyes." he mumbled as he let out a sad chuckle.
He felt his chances growing smaller and smaller with each passing minute. He was sure this was the end. The more he thought about it, the more he should've seen this coming. He was so harsh to you, spewing insult after insult at you, yet you always came back to him every time.
The silence was suffocating him. 'Just end it already' he thought to himself as he gazed up at you. 'I can't take it anymore. It hurts.' "Izana '' You spoke up finally, causing him to jolt as he slowly looked up at you. "I think I finally understand you… you’re scared.” you looked down at your lap. Just where were you going with this? He didn’t know. “You’re scared of being happy because the last time you were happy everything came crashing down like a castle of sand… That’s gotta be the reason you keep hurting me right? That’s what I keep telling myself anyway. But every single time this happens the harder it is for me to trust you. To trust that you even care about me anymore. You always tell me you love me, Izana, but I don’t know if I believe it anymore” you sighed as you began tearing up.
The more you spoke the more he realized how badly he fucked up. “I thought this was real, was this real? Or were you just using me just like everyone else? Were you using me to get happy? It’s getting difficult and I’m not sure how long I can keep doing this… especially after you won’t even allow me to meet new people” you muttered. “y/n… I’m so sorry” he sighed, running his hand through his hair. “I never realized you felt this way… god you should’ve told me” “You never cared enough to ask” you muttered.
Izana then got up from his seat across from you before he took you in his arms. He knew the damage he’d done was irreparable, but at least he could try to make it up to you in other ways. “I’m so sorry I made you think I never loved you. God I never meant for that to happen. You’re my home, y/n. I should’ve been more open… I shouldn’t have let my fears take over, I’m sorry. And I know ‘sorry’ isn’t what you want to hear from me right now, but I promise I still love you and I promise I’ll never let this happen again” he choked as he shook his head, truly feeling bad for what he’d done to you. “Izana… please can’t we just go back to how things were when we first fell in love?” you whispered. “I’m sorry… I don’t think that’s possible, but I promise I’ll give you the best possible future.. Just don’t leave. Please” he begged, his voice growing softer towards the end of his sentence.
“Ok… Just know that I’m going to make sure you keep your promise” you smiled, the same smile he’d fallen for when he was child. “I will. Thank you” he smiled.
“You idiot… you broke our promise” you sobbed as you knelt at his grave, holding a bouquet of red tulips and stargazer lilies close to your chest.
A/n: Thank you for your support
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tu-sugar-mami · 4 years ago
Text
What if Alcina comforts you when you go through a break up:
"It's all right, dear. Let it all out..." She held you close to her chest while you sobbbed incontrolably. Your heart clenched at the memory of what happened earlier that day. Her strong arms were surrounding you, protecting you, shielding you against your demons. Her chin rested on the top of your head while her retracted claws scratched your scalp soothingly.
You regretted avoiding her all day. It wasn't your intention at first, but you just couldn't face her. Of course you couldn't run for long, and so you inevitably stumbled upon her in the hallway on your way to the library.
Alcina is a very observant person, you know that, she always notice even the smallest details, and your downcast gaze along with arrhythmic heartbeat were obviously not the exception. You tried to sweep everything under the rug, to hide your struggle and the way your heart clenched, but those piercing gorgeous golden eyes bore into your soul making it impossible to keep your walls up, and when you couldn't hold it in any longer and finally broke, when your tears and your pain finally saw light she didn't think it twice, she didn't hesitate. She held you, leaning down to your insignificant height to recieve you with open arms and an open heart.
"I did my best, Alci." You said, your hoarse voice reverberating into her throat and your tears wetting her neck. "I did my best and i wasn't enough..." Your arms circled her waist when she kneeled and brought you closer, sitting you on her lap like a crying child. She didn't even care to ruin her dress on the dirty floor.
"What happened? Who hurt you like this?" Her voice was gentle, and you didn't notice the hidden rage she held towards whoever hurt you like that.
"He dumped me. He said that—"You sniffled and your hands clutched her dress as if your life depended on it. "He said that i'm useless, just a nuisance he had to put up with all that time we were together..."
It was then when Alcina reliazed you were talking about your shitty boyfriend. The same man she felt jealous of, because he got to hold you whenever he wanted, he could cuddle with you at night every night, and above all he could kiss you as many times as he wanted while she could only fantasize about it in her dreams. God, Alcina hated that man, but seeing you happy made it impossible for her to get rid of him. And now she regretted not doing it. 'How dare that man make you cry like this?'
"Darling, here, look at me." She carefully but firmly guided your chin up, angling your head so you could look at her. The stern look on her face made her beauty even brighter. " That man does not deserve your tears." Her hand cupped your cheek, or well, half of your face, and her thumb stroked your cheek softly, soothingly, helping your sobbing subside. "That idiot will pay for telling you such things. He is a fool for letting you go, and you my lo– dear, deserve someone much better than that garbage man."
"I'm not hurt because he dumped me, Alcina." That got her attention, you almost never called her by her complete first name. "It hurts me that he's right." You wiped your tears with the back of your hand and stood up. Even kneeled Alcina was taller than you, and you couldn't hold her gaze. You turned your back to her, trying to hide the shame you felt. "It hurts me because if that insignificant bitch thinks that i'm worthless, then there's no way i'm enough for the one who i really love..."
Alcinas breath hitched. Those were news she was not aware of. Has there been someone else this whole time? But who could it be the one who stole you heart? You never mentioned anything, and to her it looked like you were happy as you were, but she clearly was reading you wrong. She felt a sting in her chest. How could she have let something like that slip past her? Had she known you were unhappy... well, she could have taken care of that.
"What do you mean... who you love?"
"It's nothing." You said too quickly to be unsuspiciouis. "I've said too much. Please, i want-- i want to be alone right now." You tried to walk away, but before you even gave a step a strong hand held onto your wrist.
"Please, tell me."
The way Alcina asked, breathless, almost a whisper, made you turn back and confront her begging expression.
"I can't. I don't want to lose you, i'll be damned if--" You sighed. "I'm not enough."
Alcina's eyes widened.
Those beautiful golden eyes always enthralled you. The first time you saw them in that god forsaken forest you thought the journey was worth it if you got to see that pretty color. But now, they just filled you with sadness and made your stomach churn with anxiety.
"Is... Is it me? Please, i need to know."
Your breath catched in your throat. You let out a whimper and the tears flowed again.
"I'm sorry... i have to go." With a hard tug you freed your wrist from her grip and made a run for the stairs without looking back to the desperate shouts of Alcina begging you to stay.
You were no longer in sight, and not even the echo of your hurried footsteps could be heard. You slipped off her hands just like a handful of sand would.
She had you for a moment, completing the other half of her damaged heart, and the next second you were running away from her only leaving her broken heart behind.
Alcina didn't even notice the tears flowing out of her own eyes, too distracted by the faint smell of your perfume that was slowly dissipating.
She had you for a second, bringing up a new world of possibilities, where her dreams would not longer be impossible, only for them to be shattered mercilessly.
Alcina could feel her lungs being constricted, as if something were crushing her on the inside. Her eyes stung. Her heart hammered in her chest.
She had you... and then she lost you.
She hadn't alowwed herself to love for many, many years. She had prived herself from feeling any form of affection and caring that were not for her daughters and yet, her walls crumbled in a matter of days when she met you. She denied at first, tried to push you away but you, insufferable little thing, charmed your way into her heart and when she least expected it she was swooning at the sight of you eating whole turkey voraciously.
Was it worth it? The pain in her chest, the dissapointment, the stress? Well, she already knew the answer.
Kneeled on the library hallway Alcina made a decision.
Alcina stood up in a blink and did what she had not done in a very long time. She ran. Ran and ran as fast as her legs could carry her, down the stairs where you had run too.
She hoped it wasn't too late, she wished she hadn't taken that long to act, and she yearned to have you back in her arms.
The high heels were slowing her down, and she didn't hesitate to take them off while she ran, stumbling a bit but keeping the pace. She didn't care if it was not proper of a lady to run barefoot around the castle, hoisting her dress up in an attempt to cover more ground, you were more important than any propriety.
It's a good thing to have really long legs when your'e chasing someone, and even though Alcina was very out of breath she managed to reach you just in time as you were opening the front door.
"Wait!" She yelled, and you snapped your neck back to face her. The sight made your heart flutter and screech in pain at the same time. Alcina had gotten rid of her shoes, a good part of the skirt of her dress was strongly clutched under her arm. Her make up was smudged and you could tell she was sweating, something you had never seen her do. Her hair was ruffled and her hat was gone.
"Alcina..."
You tried to run again but Alcina was already running down the stairs and you didn't go too far outside before she clashed with you, her front to your back, circling your body with her arms while you both fell to the snowy ground.
"Wait! Please, please wait." Her ragged breath felt hot against the nape of your neck. Your glossy eyes made it hard for you to see, but you could feel her lips on your skin. "Don't go. Don't leave me. I--" She swallowed before speaking again. "Oh god, dear, i love you. Don't you understand?"
You let out a short, shaky breath. Did she really tell you that? you wonder.
"You... what?"
"You heard me. I love you." Alcina held you tighter, impossibly closer to her, and in her arms the horrible cold from the outside didn't faze you. "I love you, i love you, i love you. I'll tell you as many times as you need. I love you, please stay with me."
"You mean it?" Your voice was shaky, your breath was ragged from all the running, and your heart matched Alcina's own. "You really mean it?" You turned in her embrace, enough to face her, and she held you face with her hand. it was an awkard position, but there was nowhere else you wanted to be.
"I mean it..." And as she was teached that actions speak better than words, she leaned in to kiss you, capturing your lips with her own. You turned completely and wasted no time before kissing her again. And again and again.
"I loved you first." You said, letting out a wet giggle, all that crying really did a number on you. You tenderly tucked a stray strand of hair behind her ear, your touch lingering for a bit. "And if you let me, i'll love you until the end."
"I would like nothing more..." And she kissed you again, hungrily this time and you of course kissed back. "Also, i'll kill your ex. Life is a luxury your little bitch of ex-partner doesn't deserve."
"Alci no!"
------------------
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embretheworld · 3 years ago
Text
I Hate You I Hate You I Love You (Final Part)
Adaman finally pays Irida one last visit, this time not physically injured but mentally instead. 
-linebreak-
The last time he comes to visit injured like this, it isn't a physical injury but instead an emotional one.
A few days late, after the previous incident Sabi had swung by her tent giving her thanks in the form of a homemade art project which was a woven basket. She placed it next to the bunk beds in her room and made sure none of her Pokemon pawed at it or used it as a scratching post. She also got a heartfelt letter from Mai and although not as heartfelt as Mai's was, a thank you letter from Melli. The next time she had met up to chat with Palina she ended up being joined by Iscan who gave his sincere thanks as well, Arezu also extended her thanks in a free haircut of her liking which she politely declined.
Thanks to ensuring the safety of the rival clan's leader when she really didn't have to were strongly extended which in some way led the two clans to build a semi-stable foundation in their newly kindled friendship. And that's not even mentioning how she and Mai have been gossiping lately on the weekends, especially about her brother and his leadership as well, she'd gotten some pointers and tips though from the older girl mind you.
Gossip over potatoes mochi has become her favorite past time she can't even lie about that.
It's not until weeks later, two and a half but that's not an exact point of reference. It's that amount of time later where she had just gotten her shoes to do a nightly check in on the people in her clan when the door is suddenly kicked open and in walks in a familiar blue-robed figure.
"Wha- How did you?!" She can hardly get out a word until he uses the heel of his foot he shuts the door behind him, there's a bag thrown over his shoulder and a smile that doesn't quite reach his eyes. With how many times he's stayed here he might as well move in here at this point. "Sabi brought me here," He places a hand on his hip as he talks. "can I stay here for a bit? Just a few nights, till further notice," She had noticed looking back on this, he didn't elaborate much about it after that, those were the only details he seemed willing to give. It seemed like the wound was still fresh at the time, festering under his skin with a seething rage.
"Why do you even need to stay here in the first place?!"
"Well..." With now gritted teeth he looked away, scratching his chin. For once in her life, she thinks she's actually seen him... Genuinely hurt, or was it uncomfortable? Whatever it was it was new and it was worrying her. Yet her worry aside, Adaman shook his head and turned on his heels with a  dejected expression. "You know what, I'll just find another place to stay, it's nothing, it's fine," Yet somehow she thinks it's the exact opposite.
"Wait, no-" Her body surges forward, grabbing tightly at his wrist to tug him further into the house.  "Y... You can stay, I don't mind I'm just... Surprised..."
Now, his once tensed shoulders relaxed and he hummed, wearing an oddly tiring smirk on his face which no longer held its usual joyfulness or smugness which she never thought she'd ever miss. That didn't matter, it didn't, all that mattered is that whenever he did smirk at her he was either happy or smug but now he wasn't, not by a long shot at least. "It better be that instead of pity,"
Forcing herself to smile, she nodded while clasping her hands over each other at the same time.  "It is, you trust me right?"
He just shrugs his smile growing yet it didn't reach his eyes like it used to. "Not fully but better some than none right?"
Irida nodded at him. "I'm fine with that,"
He clapped a hand on her shoulder and let out a hollow laugh, she had the feeling he didn't seem keen on elaborating on what happened yet she had one thing she needed to check on before they proceeded.
"You're not injured... Are you?" He shakes his head, lightly laughing with a small 'no' and Irida considers that a win. She's started to associate him with the smell of blood. It seemed like he read her mind because as he passed by her to throw his bag on the bottom bunk he nudged her shoulder grinning down at her. "Don't worry, I plan to be non-accident-prone for the rest of time!" It managed to get a giggle at of her which made him chuckle in return and she nudged him back feigning an angry glare up at him.
"You better not or else I'll get Mai on you!" She giggled to herself a fair bit after that, shutting her eyes as she rocked a bit back and forth on herself until she didn't notice any laughter from the other man. Slowly but surely her laughter lessened as she peered up at the other man and upon seeing his expression her laughter devolved into awkward chuckling at best until it grew quiet.
Adaman looked genuinely hurt- uncomfortable?- at the mention of her, like a wounded animal somewhat, and that's not even mentioning how he refused to look at her as well. Did something happen to her? Is that why he's here? But wouldn't he want to be with her? Irida opened her mouth to say something but stopped herself.
If he did then he didn't mention it for a reason. She never talked about her mother after she left so if something happened to Mai then he wouldn't so she wouldn't push it. She looked away from him, silently kicking herself as she felt a pit in her stomach. And we were just starting to get along too, she thought, scowling at herself, damn it, I messed it up again, I guess that isn't much of a surprise though knowing me.
Quietly she excused herself to go do the nightly check-up of her clan's people, taking her time giving the other time to simmer down if needed she came back to a sight that really shouldn't have had as much as of an effect on her as it did.
Irida watched with heated cheeks as he let his hair down, cascading down his shoulders like a river, it had a slight wave to it thanks to being put up so long but was pretty nonetheless. She watched as he fluffed it up, running his hands through it and she wouldn't deny wanting to run her hands through it and see if it was as silky as it looked. She hadn't noticed how long she was staring until he was staring her directly in the eyes quirking a brow at her with a now bigger smirk.
"Like what you see?" He tossed his hair over his shoulder giving her a wink that made her face flush even brighter. "I can see why you've been constantly asking me to strip now but I don't mind, I don't blame you."
This time Irida is sure she's as red as the blood currently running through her veins. "A-Adaman!" For someone who's bled in front of her which is akin to showing the weakness them as leaders, aren't supposed to show he sure had lost all common sense with it. Maybe he hit his head a little too hard.
"You still gotta court me first though~" Irida just glared at him, frowning deeply. "Oh yeah, when you strip I'm gonna take that jacket and suffocate you with it."
"Irida that's a crime,"
"Your worth getting exiled for,"
"Oh! How flattering, I'm flattered to see that I'm worth risking your life over."
"It's not a compliment, sleep with one eye open tonight," The other clan leader just winked at her, and at that moment she started to regret letting him stay the night, not for too long, she never did that feeling of annoyance always being replaced by a lighter fleeting feeling. She ignored both of those feelings often, no point in mulling on something since it was fleeting for a reason.
No reason to think about it, nope, not at all.
So she doesn't not at all, nope not once, not while Adaman's running a hand through his hair, nor while he occasionally laughs at a joke she makes or whenever he takes a sip of the soup she made that night, not at all. That'd be wrong to assume so, completely so! She does not think about it whatsoever and has no idea what you're talking about!
She doesn't think about it when she wishes him a good night and when she's settling back into bed and she'd not thinking about it now. She has better things to worry about like the conversation she's having with the supposed man right now. It seems as if he couldn't get any sleep as well.
"You know about Mai... Right?" Just like beforehand, he gets straight to the point, not wasting any time at all.
"Your older sister? Yeah, she came to get you that one time, remember?"
"Yeah yeah... You're right,"
"...Did something happen to her?" Irida was praying to Mighty Palkia that nothing did.
"...No... I..." She heard him sigh as he shifted, the sheets ruffling in response. "It's stupid, this whole thing is stupid being here was a stupid decision,"
As careful as she could she stripped the blankets off the top of her and folded them off to the side. She rolled to the other side of the bed, the edge mind you, peeking over to see the other clan leader, she saw him with his back facing her, curled up a smidgen while he faced the wall. "I don't think it's stupid,"
"You wouldn't feel that way if you heard it,"
"Then tell me,"' She folded her arms on top of each other and laid her head on them. "I'll tell you if I think it's stupid or not,"
"Mai..." He hesitated, "Mai lied to me," then after that, he paused before running a hand through his hair with a huff. "and that's not to say she hasn't lied to me before because she has but it's what she lied about that made me so upset."
"What'd she lie to you about?"
He paused before flopping on his side eyes shut closed with a frustrated groan. "It's just so stupid! The more I think about it the more stupid it is yet the more aggravated I get!"
"As I said, I don't think it's stupid if it's getting you this mad,"
"But it is, i-"
"Tell. Me. Adaman."
He was silent, eyes flickering up at her, meeting each other before looking away, he sighed, flopping on his side, and remained silent.
"Well? Are you-"
"Mai's been dating someone for a month and a half and she didn't tell me, I found out by accident. Melli of all people told me and it was just to get back at her."
Irida is shocked into silence. "...Oh..."
"She's not dating Melli- thank Mighty Sinnoh- because if she was I can't handle it, instead she's dating- guess who?!- Akari, Hisu's very own savior along with the very reason I left in the first place. Can my life get any more weird and complicated?!"
Then somehow, someway she's shocked into even more silence than before.
"That's... That's a lot,"
"Tell me about it," He moves around, the sheets moving with him to stare up at the bunk above him. "it's like life's trying to hurt me this time, some big scheme to make me suffer that's what it is and I'm suffering cuz' of it. I'm in hell and I hate it."
There's silence, so much silence because once again that's a lot to think about. The person who you could possibly say played a role in traumatizing you starts dating your older sister, and it's a lot to handle and she's just got the gist of it. But from what she's heard from her conversations with Mai, or gossip as the older girl put it she cared for Adaman, a lot. It didn't take her prodding her about what she did as a leader to know what. But Adaman wasn't around for that, nor any of the two's prior interactions before that.
If only there was a way to transfer memories but there wasn't, sadly.
"I don't think Mai would try to hurt you, she loves you and she cares for you too."
"You don't know that,"
"I do, when you were asleep she told me,"
"Everyone in your clan is close, like a big family or something but as she said it doesn't change the fact your her little brother and she cares for you the most out of everyone there. She believes in you, she believes that you know what you're doing but at the same time, she's worried about you."
"If something were to happen to you I'm not sure what she'd do but stepping down as a warden is a definite idea. If she didn't care about you then she wouldn't have come down here immediately after Sabi told her, and even if she did she certainly wouldn't have stayed."
He doesn't respond to her after that, but Irida swears she hears something so she strains herself to hear only to hear... Sniffling?!
"Are... Are you crying?!"
"Shut the fuck up," It's followed by another sniffle as he buries his face in his pillow and that's when she takes it as her cue to climb down and sit by him a gentle hand placed on his shoulder. She doesn't hug him but instead settles with just being there for him instead, knowing that if it were her she'd want the same time. Time passed and she moved to rub circles on his back until her hand found its way twirling a strand or two around it. It was as soft as it looked, huh...
"You really can't keep your hands off me, huh?" It's muffled and a little nasally but it has its desired affected, snapping her out of it and Irida could feel the heat rising in her cheeks. In a grand melodramatic gesture, she turns away from pouting with her arms folded over her chest, she heard him laugh and it only made her cheeks grow hotter.
"I hate you,"
"No you don't, stop lying to yourself,"
"I do, I hate you, I..." Then it hit her, it hit her all of it... A blank expression crossed her face as she stared far off, and slowly shook her head. "I don't hate you...?"
"I hate that I don't hate you..."
"See, I told you you don't hate me, you should listen to me more often."
"I... I don't hate you..."
"Yeah, we've already established that,"
"But I do hate you at the same time,"
"Okay, now were backtracking, great, fantastic,"
"I hate the way you... You make me feel,"
"Wha... What?"
"I hate the way you make me feel, the way you make me feel things..."
Silence, pure dead silence.
"I hate this weird feeling I have around you but I know it's a good feeling is the thing..."
"You're... You're joking right?" Anger comes over, frustration bubbling over like how water bubbles over the pot.
"Of course, you wouldn't believe me! You never believe me! If I told you right now that I love you, would you even believe me?"
"Huh..."
"'Huh'? 'Huh'?! Is that seriously all you have to say?!"
"This is an unexpected development,"
"Us getting along was an unexpected development so are you really surprised?"
"No, it's not that,"
"Then what is it?"
"I'm getting to it!" He oddly enough sighed at her impatience and shook his head. "As I was saying this was an unexpected development, the same day I figure out my sister has been dating someone behind my back I technically start dating someone behind her back? I..." Shaking his head once more, he placed a head on his forehead with a look of bewilderment. "This is too confusing, I'm going to sleep,"
As he sits back in bed, hair forming a halo around him and she takes that as her signal to leave and beelines it for the ladder, climbing up its rungs making haste. She flits the blanket over herself and settles back into bed snuggly. But the thing was Adaman was not a man to go down easy, or appease really. He needed closure, especially since time was a consistent variable in his life, his beliefs so she really should have seen this.
"Hey," Adaman repeats, "Hey,"
"Hey Irida,"
"Hey,"
"Hey."
"What? I thought you were going to sleep," She sharply asks and she can hear the slight snarkiness in his voice making her immediately regret her choices.
"You have to tell my sister you want to court me now,"
"Oh my Mighty Palkia shut the fuck up and go to sleep,"
She hears him snicker followed by the shifting of sheets. "What are you going to do if I don't?"
"Your not going to sleep here, that's one thing for sure,"
"You can't, not any more not after what you just said."
"I can still kick you out, you know that right?"
"No you can't," She hears a light laugh leave his chest far different from the ones she heard before and it makes her heart strangely flutter. The sheets shift as she hears him exiting from him and standing up on his two feet, leaning against the top of the bunk looking up at her with an impish look on his face. "You can't get rid of me now,
"I can and it's called go to sleep or I'm bringing you back to your sister,"
"You have to tell Commander Kamado to, oh your in for hell,"
"Go to sleep or I'm sicing my Glaceon on you with no remorse." In the dark, she can faintly see him roll his eyes and then not see him anymore as he drops down accompanied by the shifting of sheets. "Fine fine, I'm going to sleep,"
With a blissful sigh, she snuggles deeper into her sheets a small smile growing on her lips until it's rudely interrupted. "You still have to tell them~" Which is when she grabs a small pillow and throws it at him from on top of the bunk and with a surprised sound followed by muttering he gets her message and goes to sleep soon enough.
As it turns out getting injured can bring people together in the strangest of ways, though personally, she wouldn't really recommend it.
Maybe she should try it next, and that is where Irida decides to sleep on it and wakes up the next day with her heart and shoulders a little lighter than before.
-linebreak-
A/N: Also, I might do a follow-up part of this where Adaman gets some closure having to do with Dialga
Ao3 Part 1 Part 2 
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robininthelabyrinth · 4 years ago
Note
Mo Xuanyu is banished from Koi Tower, but manages to take Wen Ning (or maybe a captured Nie Mingjue, your choice) with him. Now he has to figure out what to do with a well known fierce corpse. [🎶🎶 anon]
Crybabies - ao3
“Okay,” Xue Yang said, looking up at the ceiling with an expression that suggested he wanted to kill something and probably would, very soon. “What are you crying about now?”
“I don’t have any friends,” Mo Xuanyu explained. Xue Yang wasn’t allowed to kill him – Jin Guangyao said it would be politically inconvenient – so he felt moderately safe around the other man.
“What am I?” Xue Yang said. “Dirt?”
“Way too scary to be friends with someone like me.”
“…good point,” Xue Yang said. “You are kind of pathetic. A real crybaby.”
Mo Xuanyu was pretty used to statements like this.
“Actually,” Xue Yang said, and smiled. “That gives me an idea.”
-
Mo Xuanyu did not like Xue Yang’s idea.
“I don’t want these types of friends!” he wailed at the door, then, sniffling, turned around. “No offense meant.”
The two fierce corpses stared back at him.
“I’m sure you’re very nice,” Mo Xuanyu said, voice wavering. “Just very, uh…dead.”
Xue Yang cackled from outside the door. “I even took out their controls, just for you!” he sang out. “All the crybabies together in a single room. Have fun!”
And then his footsteps went away.
Shaking, sniffling, Mo Xuanyu turned to look at the two fierce corpses. It turned out they were chained to the wall, which was a bit of a relief.
“…are you the other crybabies?” he asked, curiosity temporarily overwhelming him. There was no one else in the room but them, but it seemed implausible.
Implausible, but apparently correct: tears started dripping down the face of one of the corpses.
“I want to go home,” he said, sounding genuinely miserable.
Mo Xuanyu looked at the other corpse.
“I want to go to his home,” he said, ducking his head and stuttering a little. He didn’t cry, but his eyes wrinkled up, like he wanted to but couldn’t. “It sounds nice.”
Mo Xuanyu had never heard of a home that sounded nice before.
“What’s it like?” he asked.
-
Mo Xuanyu really hated disappointing people.
It sometimes felt like he’d never done anything else: disappointed his mother when his father lost interest in him and stopped visiting, disappointed his aunt and her family by existing, disappointed his father after he turned out to be useless after he’d gone to all the effort of bringing him back to Lanling City, disappointed his teachers, disappointed his half-brother Jin Guangyao, disappointed – everyone, really.
So when he heard that he was probably going to get kicked out of Lanling, it wasn’t really a surprise. He’d long outworn his welcome, after all.
But then he also heard that they planned to send him back to Mo Manor and just – no.
He couldn’t.
He’d just have to disappoint everyone one more time.
“I’m pretty sure you’re not allowed to do this,” Wen Ning said, rubbing his wrists as if it would help return the circulation he didn’t have. “Friends or no friends.”
“They said I was going to have to go home,” Mo Xuanyu said, shivering from terror at the mere thought. “I don’t want to go back to my home. I want to go to his home.”
A-Jue wiped his eyes with his sleeve and sniffed. He was the biggest crybaby of the lot of them, but it wasn’t his fault; according to Wen Ning, he’d lost a big part of his memory and higher order thinking skills when he’d become a fierce corpse and spent any time that he wasn’t murdering people in a crazy frenzy of rage on Jin Guangyao’s orders at the mental age of about seven or eight.
It also didn’t help that, out of the three of them, he was Jin Guangyao’s favorite.
It was not a good thing, being Jin Guangyao’s favorite.  
“We’re going home?” he asked, looking between them, watery eyes and all. “Will Sangsang be there?”
“Maybe?” Mo Xuanyu said, and looked at Wen Ning, who shrugged helplessly. Neither of them had any younger siblings, and Wen Ning hadn’t known anything about politics long before he’d died; he’d been in the dark rather deliberately. “Hopefully.”
“We should try to avoid being seen,” Wen Ning said wisely. “I have an idea.”
-
“This cart stinks,” A-Jue mumbled, knees pulled to his chest. Even folded up, he was nearly as big as Mo Xuanyu was stretched out. “I hate radishes.”
“I hate radishes too,” Wen Ning said. He looked like he wished he could cry, looking at them, but then again he looked like that a lot; he’d been the first one brought back, so he hadn’t kept the ability to actually shed tears, which was awful and unfair and something they’d have to fix as soon as they had some time and weren’t being chased.
“This was your idea,” Mo Xuanyu pointed out.
“I said it’d work, I didn’t say we’d enjoy it,” Wen Ning said, and Mo Xuanyu had to admit he had a point. No one would look for two fierce corpses and one runaway teenager in the back of a radish cart, and the farmer driving them in the general direction of Qinghe had been more than happy to accept some gold in exchange for not saying a word about them.
(“How d’you know I won’t take your money and sell you out anyway?” he’d asked before they set out.
“Because if you did, we’d prioritize ripping your throat out before we got captured?” Wen Ning suggested. Mo Xuanyu elbowed A-Jue, who obligingly stretched out his hand to demonstrate the length of his reach, the strength of his arm, and the length of his sharp nails.
“…good reason.”)
The ride only got them a day or so of travel north before the farmer had to make a turn that led him further away from Qinghe rather than towards, but they were in the countryside, not a city, and that was already something.
“We can make the rest by foot,” Wen Ning decided, and A-Jue put Mo Xuanyu on his back so that he wouldn’t slow them down. It was surprisingly comfortable. “I hope you’re right about your sect, A-Jue.”
“I am,” A-Jue said. “Sangsang will be there. He’ll know what to do.”
“Isn’t he only two years old?” Mo Xuanyu asked suspiciously.
“If I’m big, he’s big,” A-Jue pointed out. “And if I’m dead, he’s sect leader. It’ll be fine.”
-
Mo Xuanyu was nominated to be the one to go in and try to get an audience with the sect leader of Qinghe on account of him being the only one not dead.
It was a very compelling argument.
He got into the main city without a problem, gate or no gate, and then walked up to one of the guards outside the main clan complex. “Uh,” he said, fidgeting. “How do I get to see the sect leader?”
The guards looked at him in pity.
“Tell us what you want him for and we can direct you to the appropriate person to help you,” one of them said, not without kindness.
“I’m pretty sure the sect leader is the appropriate person, though…”
“Maybe you haven’t heard,” the other said. “But Sect Leader Nie isn’t actually good at anything.”
“I’m supposed to find him,” Mo Xuanyu said stubbornly. “Just him.”
“Kid. Listen. It’s not happening.”
Mo Xuanyu knew he’d screw this up. “Can you at least pass on a message?” he said hopelessly. “Tell Sangsang that I have something he’d be interested in –”
“Hold up,” the first guard said. “Sangsang?”
“…isn’t that his name?”
The two guards looked at each other. “Maybe you should go in,” the second one said.
“In fact,” the first one said. “We’re going to insist on it.”
-
“Please stop crying,” the young man with the fan and the frills said. “There’s nothing to be afraid of.”
“I’m under arrest!” Mo Xuanyu howled, tears and snot streaming down his face. “I’ve never been under arrest before!”
“I’m pretty sure that was just an overreaction,” the young man said soothingly. “They didn’t really arrest you, they were just being mean and exaggerating. Weren’t they?”
He looked at the two guards by the door, and Mo Xuanyu followed his gaze.
They both nodded.
“Sorry,” one of them said.
“Didn’t mean it,” the other said.
“Big mistake.”
“Won’t happen again.”
“Do you accept their apology?” the young man said, and Mo Xuanyu nodded. “Good, good. Now go – no, not you, them. You stay where you are.”
Mo Xuanyu sheepishly sat back down.
“Now,” the young man said, putting his elbows on the table. “You look familiar. Do I know you from somewhere?”
“Uh, maybe?” Mo Xuanyu said. “I was at the Jin sect for a while, but they kicked me out.”
The young man blinked, then his eyes narrowed thoughtfully. “Oh,” he said. “I see. No wonder you’re scared of getting arrested.”
Mo Xuanyu wasn’t sure he understood the connection. Wasn’t being arrested scary everywhere?
“Different question,” the young man said. He was playing with his fan in his hands and not really looking at Mo Xuanyu directly, which was a relief; it made him feel like the other man didn’t really care that much about the answer. “The Nie sect leader…who told you he was called Sangsang?”
“Uh,” Mo Xuanyu said. “It’s a bit complicated. You see, he doesn’t remember things very well, but A-Jue said –”
The fan snapped in two in the young man’s suddenly clenched hands.
-
It turned out that Nie Huaisang – that was the sect leader’s actual name – was just as much of a crybaby as the rest of them, which he really should have made clear from the beginning. Mo Xuanyu wouldn’t have been nearly as afraid of him if he’d known that.
As it was, he was still hugging a somewhat confused A-Jue (mostly marveling at how large his Sangsang had gotten) and crying his heart out while blubbering a whole lot of incoherent things, so Wen Ning patted the ground next to him and Mo Xuanyu went to sit.
“Is this a good sign?” he checked, and Wen Ning nodded.
“The Nie sect is pretty strong,” he said. “They’ll be able to protect us. Well, the two of you, anyway, I don’t know about me –”
“I don’t think surnames are really the most important thing right now,” Nie Huaisang said, finally pulling away and wiping his red eyes. “You helped bring my da-ge back home; you can stay as long as you like.”
“It really is a nice home,” Mo Xuanyu whispered to Wen Ning, who looked a little impressed.
“I told you,” A-Jue said proudly. He still had an arm wrapped around Nie Huaisang and wasn’t letting go – they’d offered to help Nie Huaisang out of his grip earlier, but he’d politely refused – and he seemed to be settling in very well to his older brother role. It was a bit strange to adjust to, but he was still A-Jue in the end. “I have the best home.”
“It’s nice enough,” Nie Huaisang said, still a bit teary-eyed. “Right. Enough feelings. I need you to tell me everything you remember about your time in Lanling.”
“…everything?” Mo Xuanyu said.
“Everything relevant,” Nie Huaisang clarified.
“You’re not going to like it,” Wen Ning said.
“Probably not, no. Tell me anyway.”
-
Mo Xuanyu patted Nie Huaisang on the back as he started trying to throw up again – it was all bile and dry heaves by now. It was a human failing that they shared, and the fierce corpses didn’t, although they were sympathetic enough.
“It’s not that bad,” Wen Ning offered. “We’re not really – awake, during much of it. The worst parts.”
That didn’t seem to help.
“He mostly only got mad at me,” A-Jue said, hovering anxiously. “He didn’t like that I didn’t remember him. Said it was no fun. So he didn’t spend that much time with me.”
“I hate him,” Nie Huaisang said. His voice was raspy, his eyes red, and he looked a little bit scary. “I’m going to destroy him.”
“Okay,” A-Jue said at once, because he was a big old softie as well as a crybaby. “We can destroy him. No problem. Just don’t be sad, Sangsang.”
Nie Huaisang’s lip trembled, which rather destroyed the scary effect. “Okay, da-ge,” he said. “I won’t be sad. You’re going to stay here at home with me, and then we’ll focus on making you better, okay?”
“Uh,” Wen Ning said.
“Not the corpse thing,” Nie Huaisang clarified. “The – memory thing.”
“You can fix that?” Mo Xuanyu said, surprised. “How? Senior Jin and Senior Xue both tried really hard and couldn’t manage it.”
“Yes, well,” Nie Huaisang said, and rubbed his eyes. “They don’t know that da-ge was a little kid the first time he picked up Baxia. I think that dying cut off his connection to her, and that she kept everything that was – you know – after. So maybe reconnecting them…”
“That means you’ll be grown up again!” Mo Xuanyu said to A-Jue, who seemed pleased. “That’s great.”
“I’m going to need your help, though,” Nie Huaisang said. He was mostly looking at Wen Ning. “No matter what da-ge says, you helped do – a lot of things, and if we’re going to bring down Jin Guangyao…I’m going to need help.”
“We’ll help you,” Mo Xuanyu said, and Wen Ning nodded. “I mean, we’re not – really helpful. We’re kind of all a bunch of crybabies. But whatever we can do, we will!”
“I appreciate that,” Nie Huaisang said. “Also, don’t underestimate crybabies.”
He smiled.
“We’re a lot more dangerous than you might think.”
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arcadejohn127-9 · 4 years ago
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Ahhh I love your writing sm!! Could I request how the brothers would react to an MC that's super doting and overly loving from the get-go?. Always insists on helping w cooking duty, brings the brothers coffee if they look busy, etc? pls & ty!
Tbh I don't really have a love language over than verbal but this speaks to me
In game I make my MC very much like this, overly positive and always wanting to help. Not because I have to, I could easily pick more honest or teasing options but when it comes to it. My first instinct/Response is those options because I like the idea of being helpful to people
It's only when people start using that for their advantage or make me help them out even though I'm busy or just don't want to do it. That's when there's an issue.
Lucifer:
"oh~ Luci! You still working?"
You peered over at him at his desk, peaking from the space between the wall and the stair railing
He looked up at you with a tired expression, frowning
"I am, what do you need?"
you trotted down the rest of the steps, walking over to him with a bright smile
A tray in hand with coffee and biscuits and apple slices
"I made these for you, I know it isn't much but you're always working so hard... perhaps I can help?"
Lucifer wasn't too surprised, you were always offering your help whenever you could but it still surprised him you were so quick to offer
He didn't know how you had all that energy to face the day and then do more for others but he always enjoyed your company
"be my guest."
You grabbed a mini stool and sat beside him, you'd read over papers with him, massaging his hand whenever you noticed it cramped
He shared the snacks you got him and even revealed the mini snack draw he had in his desk
He put a finger to his lips with a smile
"don't tell my brother's, this will be just between you and me."
He showed you what he had and you picked whatever caught your fancy, happily eating as you looked over the papers
Mammon:
He wasn't use to Someone being nice to him so when you came along and offered acts of service - he was blown away!
Even over time he wasn't really use to it
Speaking of you and your acts or service; you were whistling a happy tune
A thick wallet in your pocket, you headed straight to mammons room
It was as if he could smell the money, he rushed to your side and started eyeing the wallet
"Stop peeking - it's a gift."
He looked at you confused but was grinning
"oh? The great Mammon can't refuse a gift!"
You placed the wallet in his hand, he let out a yelp at the weight of it
It was completely loaded!!! It was stuffed with money!
He couldn't believe it - it had to be a trick! There was no way you were giving him this much money!
"Are ya playing with me? Ha ha human."
"no tricks, you've been struggling with your debt to the witch's so I thought I'd help, I heard you've been getting in trouble with Lucifer more because of it so I wanted to help!"
He didn't even realize he teared up, he jumped towards you and hugged you close
Nuzzling your faces together as he hugged you tight
"You-! YOU DAMN HUMAN- NO YOU ANGEL! YOU'RE THE BEST THING THAT'S HAPPENED TO ME!"
You patted his arm, laughing and it wasn't long before he was planning to spend a big splurge on you despite his issues with money already
Levithan:
He was shuffling into his room, headphones on and just starting to calm down
Today was hectic so he was happy to finally be back home
"Evening! Don't worry, I still used the secret password."
"HUH-?! THAT'S NOT- WHY ARE YOU IN MY ROOM?!"
He threw his headphones off, face bright red
He should of known you were up to something, you kept humming whenever you entered his room
Talking about cleaning up after himself but he kept forgetting due to getting distracted
"I noticed it's gotten really messy so I decided to clean it for you but before you say anything, I know you hate when it's cleaned because you don't know where anything so I've labelled where everything has been stored if it's changed places."
He was still upset, he REALLY hated it when things are changed without him knowing first
But he looked around the room and sure enough, things were still in the cupboards and places he stacked them in and the labels were correct
Everything was completely organized! All the piled up ramen was even gone!
He exhaled a long breathe calming himself down, he was happy - really really happy
"Thanks.... just - can we arrange something next time? But I do like what you did! It looks nice - it's much better now!"
"of course, I'll ask next time - also~ I got you some special ruri-chan themed chips in hopes to make you feel better."
He moves before he knows it, hugging you tight
"STAY WITH ME FOREVER!!!!"
He's definitely embarassed afterwards and gets you out of his room before he makes himself look more like a love sick fool
But don't worry, he texts you wanting to hang out later
Satan:
Satan has been locked in his room after having a big outburst earlier that day
He got overwhelmed from all the noises and threw a book at mammon
You waited awhile before going after him, wanting him to calm down and looked after mammons sore head
You grabbed the book he threw, making a nice calming tea and even made some Apple pie
When you knocked his door he freezed
"Who is it-?! Lucifer, I'm not in the mood for your scolding-"
"it's just me, I got you something!"
He opened the door for you, letting you inside
His room looked clean for once - you didn't doubt he continued his rage into his room and cleaned up to calm down
You offered him a smile, placing the tray on his bed
"I hope you like it, I made it myself."
He looked at the fresh apple pie, his stomach rumbling at the mere sight of it
"you did this...for me? Didn't I scare you?"
You hummed, sitting close to him
"yeah a little but everyone has their bad days, you having one doesn't change anything - though you do need to apologize to mammon."
He sat down by his bed, placing the tray on his lap
"you're right I do, thank you for not just seeing me as some angry creature....I didn't intend to blow up like that."
You patted his arm, still smiling
You two sat together, you read his book for him whilst he ate and drank
He was very bashful at how supportive you are but that was you, you've always been so quick to offer help or do things for people ever since you've arrived
You were good to him, he'll always appreciate that
Asmodeus:
His love language is affection and words
Yours is acts of service
It's perfect!
Though, when it was established you were quick to help and offer your service - prepare for MANY innuendos
He'll come skipping to you, draping himself off the nearest object and asking if you want to help him de-stress
Most of the time you just have spa days or lay around doing nothing
You decided to treat him today seeing as exams were stressing him out
"Asmo! Won't you help me? I have this lovely new-"
He's skidding as he appears in the doorway, ready to do whatever you want
But you just grinned, knowing your plan worked
You grabbed him and shoved him into a chair
Before he knew it; his hair was tied up and his jacket and scarf has disappeared
"oh? What's all this about? Does my love want some special care?"
"nope, I just want to look after you today~ you've been stressing over exams so much, I wanted to treat you like a prince."
He had the biggest grin on his face after that
And treated like a prince he was
You did his skin routine, brushed his hair and curled it
If he even mentioned being thirsty you were straight to getting him a nice refreshing drink
If you're able to - please carry him bridal style - he will love every second of it
"you treat me so well, I know I'm already a blessing to this demonic world but you're just pure light."
He's so love sick, an absolute fool in love
"nonsense, I'm just helping you like usual."
Which is true, you were always being helpful to him
Thats why he loved doing whatever he could for you
"Never leave the Devildom, I couldn't bare not seeing your beautiful face everyday."
You just laughed, massaging his face and gave him a quick kiss
Beezlebub:
Another person who does acts of service as a love language
Though, do forgive him if he forgets due to hunger - he'll immediately make it up to you
At this point he's become a subconscious challenge/game of service - always trying to one up each other
Currently, he was really anxious about his up coming game
It was the biggest one that R.A.D was having and was against a smaller school in the Devildom
The brothers all agreed to come watch him play and even made banners and levi brought glowsticks
You were no were to be seen
The weeks running up to the game you were always busy and whilst you still do some things for him here or there - you were mostly out of the house
But it was but a long lasting plan
You planned on supporting him the best way you could!
When he finally rolled onto the field he felt dread when he didn't spot you in the crowd
He couldn't stop frowning until he saw you, shaking pom poms and running with the cheersquad
That's right, you joined the cheer team to show your support for the lovely demon
"I WANT TO DEDICATE A CHEER TO OUR STAR PLAYER - BEEZLEBUB!!!"
He's so flustered and absolutely shining with joy under his helmet
As soon as he could he came running towards you and hugged you tight
"I was so worried I did something that made you drift away....you did this for me?"
"of course! I'm sorry I made you worried, I wanted to surprise you."
He had to take off his helmet after trying to nuzzle your face, you yelped when it bonked you
"This is the best thing anyone has done for me, thank you (Y/N)."
"you're welcome, now go win that game! Prove those losers that R.A.D is the best school around!"
It was no surprised that R.A.D won
The players all cheered and partied, inviting the band and cheerleaders to celebrate with them
But you decided to have a sleepover with Beelzebub, feeding him plenty of tasty foods as your own type of celebration
"Open wide."
You almost choked on the cake basically shoved in your mouth, laughing as frosting covered your nose and cheeks
You got your revenge but he happily licked what he could
This is the best celebration he could ever get
All because of you!
Belphegor:
Even if your love language wasn't acts or service, you definitely got in the habit of doing it with this guy
He was spoilt from always being carried and pampered by his twin
He could get away with sleeping anywhere as long as he got things done and good grades
But you were always the helpful human, giving him snacks or fluffing his pillows
He's joked about getting a bell so he could call you whenever he needed you
That never happened
"Belphie!! You awake? I got something for you."
He immediately popped his head up and waved to get your attention
You showed him the cup of hot mocha you've recently made; sweet and delicious and has an extra kick to help with keeping awake
"Smells delicious, you made this?"
"yep! Now drink up, we got plans today."
He happily drunk it, feeling more awake with every gulp
By the end of the Cup he was absolutely overjoyed from the taste
Though you almost groaned in frustration when he yawned, so happy that he got sleepy
"you have anymore~? I could drink loads of these- make me more, you know how to make them, I'm too sleepy - it's your fault I'm sleepy."
You flicked his head
Reminding him to not act like a brat
But you did make him more and throughout the day you'd give him a large cup
You needed to do studies and make sure belphegor kept his grades up - Lucifer's orders
But he was already a star pupil regardless so you weren't sure why you had to
But spending time with your favourite demon was never an issue, regardless of his attitude
"We need to do this more, I love it when you look after me."
"I know, now write your answer, I need proof you're working so I don't get strung up."
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landothemuppet · 3 years ago
Text
Far Longer Than Forever (p.p)
Tumblr media
Word count: 4737
Pairing : peter parker
Request: YES! ANON I LOVE YOU SO MUCH. The Swan Princess is one of my childhood movie and this was so fun to write. I can’t stop listenning the soundtrack now ! I’m so sorry for the time i took to write this, i had so much work to do with school. But it’s over now and i hope you will like this ! 
N/A:  First, gif not mine but i don’t know who i’m gonna credit on this, i have no clue...This is my first Peter Parker x reader and i hope you all will like it! As always, I remind you that English is not my native language. Don’t hesitate to tell me what you think of the fic! Like, reblogs to support. You can Love you all! xx
Taglist: @angeliquekalampoka @harryhollandsgirlfriend @cedricdiggorysimpp​ - if you want to be notified of all my future writings you can add yourself in my taglist : here
______
As far as you can remember, you've always hated summer. Well, it was partly a lie. You loved the sweltering heat of Queens, the cherry popsicles from Delmar's, not having to worry about what time you had to get up. You liked it but hated the idea of ​​the last two weeks of August.
 This year was no exception. You looked at your half-finished suitcase, a grimace on your face. August still meant the same thing, the same routine: having to spend the last three weeks of his vacation with Peter Parker.
summer 2009
Peter Parker had lost his parents very early on, two years ago. He had lived since then with his aunt May and his uncle Ben. It was your mother's idea to introduce you to each other. Aunt May and your mom were friends from college and luckily, they lived in the same neighborhood. Your first meeting with the one who, many years later, would become Spider-Man, took place on his eighth birthday. You were invited to the party when you weren't even at the same school. Aunt May had simply shared his fears about Peter's difficulty making friends after the trauma he had experienced. Your mother, as the perfect friend that she was, had suggested that Peter and you spend time together.
 There were 3 kids in total at that birthday party, you, Peter - obviously - and a boy from his school whose mother had forced him to be there, too. It was a fact; you were the only girl and you didn't know Peter at all. Your mother walked up to you, got up to your eye level and whispered
 "Can you be nice? May told me she invited Peter's whole class and only this boy came"
 You wanted to please your mother so you nodded before approaching the two boys. Peter and his friend were in the corner of the room, their backs turned to the adults. When you tapping the young boy on the shoulder to make you notice by him, he turned to you with a guilty expression. He had buttercream all over the corner of his mouth and he was holding a cupcake in his hand that looked delicious.
 “My Aunt May tried to bake a cake, but Uncle Ben bought some cupcakes in anticipation. Do you want one?” Peter asked you in a friendly voice
“Why? Is May's cake not good?
“Uncle Ben says that she is not very good at cooking.”
 You let out a little laugh and nodded your head before grabbing the cupcake with a smile. You thanked him and began to taste the little pastry with envy. It was so good! The buttercream was lemony, the cupcake was slightly lemony too but there was a taste you couldn't recognize. You were almost sure you had tasted it before, but you couldn't tell what it was. Peter and the other boy suggested that you go to Peter's room. He wanted to show you the LEGO set his uncle Ben had given him ahead of time and you followed them even though you weren't more excited about the idea.
 And you were right. For several minutes, you were pushed aside while the two young boys spoke spiritedly. You complained several times that you wanted to do something else but Peter didn't seem to listen to you, too excited to finally be able to chat with someone who appreciated Star Wars as much as he did.
 So you were annoyed and slightly angry with Peter but what broke the camel's back is that you started to not feel so good. Your throat was itching and you felt like your tongue was taking up a lot more space in your mouth, getting drier. Peter gave you a distracted look before his eyes widened. He let go of everything he had in his hands before running to his aunt.
 "Aunt May, Aunt May! Y/N's tongue looks like a big, desiccated steak!"
"Peter, don't be rude!" she exclaimed, shocked by her nephew’s words
"No, no come see, she has a huge tongue! I think something is wrong"
 Meanwhile, you ran into the bathroom at Peter's reaction. You weren't sure why he had looked at you like that, but you felt that a few things were wrong. In addition, you were more and more thirsty, your eyes also hurt. And that's when you saw your reflection. You were puffy, your tongue had tripled in size, hence this feeling of dryness and discomfort. It was the same with your throat. You started to cry and when May called you through the bathroom door, you fervently opened it.
 May and your mother's expression of horror was instantaneous and your mother knew exactly what was causing your condition.
 "What did she eat?"
"Nothing..." he tried to escape from being grounded
"Peter, this is very important. What did you eat?"
"We just ate the cupcakes Uncle Ben brought back"
 Ben looked at May with guilty eyes. May had put so much effort into Peter's birthday cake and she felt hurt that they had bought some pastries in anticipation. Your mother was impatiently stamping her foot. It was important to know exactly what you had eaten and above all, you shouldn't waste any more time. Peter felt completely helpless. He had only given a cupcake to his guest, that’s all. What was wrong with giving someone a cupcake?
 "What were those cupcakes flavor?" your mother said impatiently ...
"With lemon and almonds." he said in a very small voice.
 You were panicked. And the eight-year-old that you were was not coping well with stress. Plus, your feeling of being sidelined by Peter and his friend made you feel even worse. So you frowned. You couldn't see a thing but you could feel the torrent of tears escaping your cheeks. You pointed at Peter with rage
 "You tried to kill me !!!" you said somehow with your tongue as big as a little tangerine.
"It's not true!"
"Yes! You are a murderer"
 And you cried even more before your mother takes you to the emergency room as quickly as possible, apologizing for the scene.
 The week later, May forced Peter to apologize for giving you a cupcake, while justifying that he didn't know about your allergy. Your mother forced you to apologize for insulting Peter "a murderer" and accept his apologies.
 But you spent the rest of the vacation arguing with the little guy. After all, you didn't want to be friends with a murderer.
 Summer 2013
Aunt May and your mom didn't let go, however, and every summer you spent three damn weeks with Peter. The summer of your twelve years, you did not thus escape this eternal masquerade but this year, the tide had turned in your favor.
 From the start, you never liked Star Wars. It really wasn't your world. You had always preferred Harry Potter and although Peter had read the books and enjoyed them - which he would never admit to you as that would amount to listing the commonalities you had - he was much more invested in the galactic universe. But on that day, Peter had particularly bothered you. He had first replaced the sugar in your hot chocolate with salt. He kept chanting silly nursery rhymes about you and the downstairs neighbor, insinuating that you were in love: which was not the case. Yes, Peter had been extremely annoying. This time Peter was getting on your nerds by bouncing a small ball against the ceiling as you tried to read your book. Uncle Ben was in the living room watching the sport - you weren't sure exactly which one since it didn't matter to you - so you couldn't go anywhere else to be quiet.
 "Peter, stop it."
"Stop what?" he asked by bouncing the ball once more off his ceiling. You could even make out the smirk on his lips.
"That. Stop it! I can't read."
"This is nothing new."
 You threw him the first thing you found on his desk, c.e, a banana, which he easily dodged. You groaned in frustration. May and your mother didn't understand when you talked about Peter's attitude towards you. He was a calm child, far too shy at school and interested in everything, especially science. He was looking forward to entering Midletown High School in two years. You hated that nerd side about him. Secretly, you were a little jealous of him for being the smartest in the room.
 “I'm gonna hit you so hard you won't know your name anymore”
“ try me, dumbass.”
  A few minutes later, he had finally stopped throwing that damn ball, but obviously Peter's boredom was driving him to find everything the most boring thing than the previous one to drive you crazy. This time, he had simply taken his favorite lightsaber - because he had several - and he was poking your shoulder to get your attention.
 "Parker, stop!"
"Don't you want to drop this book and watch a movie?"
"What do you want to watch? Star Wars? No thanks ..."
"Oh come on, Y / N! I'm sure you'll like it!"
 He patted you on the shoulder once more with his lightsaber.
 "Do you want to play this, Parker?" you said before grabbing one of his other lightsabers
"What are you going to do? I'm sure you don't know how to fight with" he mocked.
 You have lit the glowing plastic stick and you are placed in the guard position.
 "Do you want to bet, knothead?"
 He smiled at you and attacked you first. Strangely, this is what most resembled a moment of bond between Peter and you and deep down, you appreciate it. But you also appreciate that possibility of kicking his ass after he's been so irritating. You responded to his lightsaber attacks with ease and joy. It was playful, childish, but it was one of the few times you had fun with Peter. And you really appreciate it. Your two laughs mingled, echoing in the room.
 But suddenly, as you were trying to dodge an attack from the brunet, your elbow made contact with his face. Peter's muffled cry of pain echoed and you froze. He was holding his nose with a grimace and when he took his hand away you both noticed in horror that he was bleeding.
 "Fuck…"
"Pete..." you started talking
"You blew my nose!" Peter shouted
"I did not do it on purpose!" you defended yourself.
"Of course, you do! You fucking blew my nose!"
"Peter, I swear ..."
 But Peter interrupted you by rushing out of his bedroom looking for his aunt who was in the office as she tried to file the important papers, that Ben and her had received this week. You were livid. First, because you didn't mean to hurt Peter on purpose. Second, you couldn't stand the sight of blood and it was literally everywhere. Peter was leaving trails of droplets on the floor of the apartment.
 "Aunt May?!? Y/N blew my nose! Damn, I'm bleeding!"
 After a brief stint in the ER, the rest of the stay was peaceful as you and Peter avoided each other until the end of the summer.
 Summer 2017
Peter was not the Peter you had always known.
 Since the death of his uncle Ben, the young man had closed in on himself and was even further away. Always so intelligent and discreet but much more distant. He had stopped teasing you or doing things that got on your nerves. He was minding his own business. And even though you had tried to be there for him, not denying him any of the offers he made to you during your stay ... you found him really ... overwhelmed. Which was still understandable.
 But this year was worse than the last. May told your mother that last year Peter got an internship at Stark Industry and attended a seminar in Germany but came back with a black eye. He had been acting most weirdly ever more since then. And you could have witnessed it. In the afternoon, when you were busy, and when it was too hot, when you tried to rest, Peter would disappear for hours. When you caught him sneaking back several times, he made you promise not to tell Aunt May.
 And you were starting to have theories about his nighttime getaways. After all, you were 16 and you too had started dating a few boys. But it never really worked. who knows why?! And when you wondered if Peter had a girlfriend, and who she was - he had to have one in view of all his sneaking out - your stomach twisted in a strange feeling. You didn't understand why the thought of Peter having a girlfriend bothered you so much. Over time, you had learned to be friends. It still happened sometimes that you quarreled but the events of the life made you grow up. Your parents had divorced, Peter had lost his uncle. You could tell yourself that you both had grown.
 And it was one night when Peter was sneaking back in again that you discovered two secrets.
 The first one: He was Spider-Man.
 It was around midnight when you heard the sound of the window opening. Since your childhood and this Machiavellian plan of your mother and Aunt May, you had always slept in Peter's room during holiday and more recently in his bed. The noise alerted you and you got up in a sitting position. But the only thing you saw was a foot, placed on this said window, closing it gently. How the hell was that possible?
 You were ready to scream but your gut told you to look up at the ceiling. A figure hung on it and you were paralyzed. Were you having one of those weird experiences called sleep paralysis? Delicately, silently, you grabbed the first blunt object within reach. A chemistry book that Peter seemed particularly fond of. The figure stepped on the ceiling as you were paralyzed. The form turned to land on the ground and then stood up, still with its back to you. You got up gently from Peter's bed and walked over. The man in the suit whose color you couldn't see took off his mask and you hit the air in an attempt to shoot him down. Peter turned around so quickly and blocked your gesture easily, like a reflex.
 "What the ..."
"Bloody hell".
 You both said at the same time. Your big surprised eyes mirrored Peter's. The curly man let go of your hand with an apologetic expression as you walked away from your friend. You turned on the bedside lamp before you discovered his blue and red costume. A very recognizable costume since it was that of Spider-Man. You winced, a look of judgment and incomprehension on your face. Not bothering to look at his face covered with bruises and traces of blood.
 "What the ... are you sneaking out to go to a costume party?"
"What?! No…No Y/N I’m…”
“Spider-Man? Great costume by the way” you joked.
 For a moment, you completely forgot that you just saw your friend glued upside down to the ceiling. Peter looked at you a little jaded, by the tone of your voice your guess was far from a sincere question but more of a mockery. And right now, the young man needed to be honest with you. He needed you.
 "But, I am."
"Yeah that's it. And I slept with the Winter Soldier. You can't imagine what he can do with his metal arm."
 Peter cut you off by pulling a web with his web shooter, tying your hands. The feel of the canvas was unpleasant, sticky but above all resistant. You let out a little cry of surprise, not powerful enough to pass the walls of Peter's room. Your eyes looked like two big golf balls, realizing that your friend was telling the truth.
 "Omg, You're Spider-Man" you almost spoke too loud.
"Yes and don't make me web your mouth. May doesn't have to know"
"damn, peter. What happened to your face!"
“yeah about that…I need you Y/N, please…”
  And without warning, Peter squeezed the spider in the middle of his costume, at chest level. He winced at the action revealing his bruised chest. He staggered a bit from the action, unsure of his legs and the pain in his sides fierce. You might see several bruises and cuts on your friend's body. You were having difficulty swallowing before you told him you were going to the bathroom to get what you needed. Before leaving the room, he made you promise to be discreet and not tell May anything if she ran into you. When you walk back into Peter's room, he's sitting half-lying on his bed, grimacing. You sit next to him, your heart pounding. You never noticed that he was so built. After all, as a superhero, he had to keep fit. But you couldn't deny that it intimidated you. Your cheeks were burning with embarrassment and a desire you never knew before. He had his eyes closed, as if trying to make the pain go away. And there, looking at him, you found him pretty. he was so cute that you couldn't help but run your hand through his curls to signal your presence and soothe him a bit. But Peter already knew you were there. He had heard your footsteps, he had smelled your scent, a sweet scent he had grown used to in his later years. He sighed softly, more relaxed. You started to clean the few shallow wounds.
 "Does it hurt?" you asked quietly
"Mhmm no, not really."
"Did you win?"
"Ouch..No. Not tonight."
"Sorry." you said more for your gesture rather than the fact that he didn't win the fight against the bad guys.
"No, it's perfect ... it's just a little sensitive"
 You smiled but something was wrong. A feeling you've never felt before. You've finished cleaning up Peter's wounds, but your gaze has darkened. As you were about to get up, the brunette gently grabbed your wrist to hold you back. He could hear your calm breathing and yet your heart was racing. He could feel the heat on your cheeks. He too felt that the tension was at its height. Your mind was muddled, he didn't know why, he wasn't a telepath, but he could see it, feel it. Your body betrayed your mind.
 "Y/N, what is it?"
"I..I don't know." you lied.
"You can tell me everything."
"I ... Well…Seeing you like this ... makes me ... makes me realize that I ... I'm afraid of losing you."
"You won't lose me ... I promise"
 You are ashamed of your vulnerable state. How did you go from hating this boy to having an overwhelming fear of losing him? You looked at those chocolate eyes in confusion and distress. You were now fully aware that the little neighborhood spider was none other than your childhood friend. The one you once loved to hate, tease, fight with over trivia. He was also on the youtube videos, who stopped cars with his bare hands.
 “Y/N… you won’t lose me, I promise.”
 Peter dared to walk slowly towards you and in a surge of courage, one of his hands circled your burning cheek, his lips rested on yours. The brunette had always had a crush on you without actually admitting it. After all, you had known each other since you were children but... your relationship had been rather confrontational. But for two years now, everything had changed for him. He appreciated more and more your little arguments, your teasing. His thoughts would sometimes turn darker when you lick your lips or when your fingers scratched that point behind your ear, when you were a little stressed.
 Your lips moved between them in a harmonious dance and you were now clinging desperately to Peter's slightly sweaty brown curls. Your heart was pounding at a speed close to the point of no return, reluctant to stop suddenly in the face of this overstimulation. But all good things came to an end and you slowly walked away. You bit your lip to get the taste of Peter's back. Your mind wandered, lost in the haze of rushing feelings.
 "You..you should rest ..."
 You ended up pulling away, swallowing hard. That night you didn't sleep. You have studied every facial feature of Peter, thinking of every event since your friendship. The next day, you fooled that nothing had happened. Too scared of what that kiss meant to you.
 Summer 2025
It all happened so quickly. After that summer, the summer of your kiss, you promised yourself that you understood your feelings towards Peter. You weren't going to the same high school and even though you were both on social media, you never dared to contact him. You needed time.
 But you haven't had this time. Peter became full-time Spider-Man and then the aliens came to earth, again. The threat of Thanos hovered and within moments, days, hours ... you were gone under his snap.
 When you returned to your childhood apartment, you were alone. Well, alone in front of the family who lived in this place now. The man in his forties simply believed you were a drug-hunting teenager squatter. Five damn years had passed. 5 years where your mother had a new life when you had been eclipsed. You were distraught, alone and it was by happy coincidence that you found May at the F.E.A.S.T project. It was a relief for you to find a familiar face again. She had suggested that you come and live in her new temporary apartment, allowing you to finish high school without having to move to the other end of the United States, with your mother. You declined your offer. You wanted to fend for yourself. And surprisingly, you did pretty well.
 To be exact, Mr. Delmar was looking for a student to work in his store and was kind enough to greet you in the bedroom of one of his daughters who had gone to college. By the greatest of luck, you've never seen Peter. Or rather, you managed to avoid it for an entire year. You had caught a glimpse of him one day, trying to speak Italian to get a travel adapter and a dual headphone adapter. Did you feel foolish thinking that after so long - could we consider those 5 years to be 5 concrete years? - would it still focus on the kiss you shared? After all, you got away from him after that. And then, everything went in a state of madness.
 Every time you turned on the television, you learned that elemental monsters had attacked a different country. They had first started with Mexico and then moved to Europe. Italy, Prague and then London. A certain Mysterio seemed to be taking care of this matter, but you couldn't help but think of Peter. May told you he was supposed to go to Italy. In fact, every time she went to Delmar's for a sandwich, she gave you an update on her nephew's trip. But it wasn't the craziest.
 Upon his return ... Spider-man's identity was revealed. You had watched in horror the video of Mysterio, which appeared on the Daily Buggle newspaper, accusing Peter of wanting to be the new Iron-Man. You were listening to J. Jonah Jameson falsely accusing Peter of being a murderer. You knew Peter, and there was no way he had done such an act. The video was bogus, you were sure. When you tried to reconnect that summer, you noticed Peter's girlfriend. Michelle Jones and ... and that's what kept you from approaching him. He was already supported. He had his best friend, Ned. His girlfriend, MJ. And he had May. It was enough, wasn't it?
  It was the following year, after a new incredible adventure that you met again.
You worked at the store in the evening. Mr Delmar had asked you to help him out urgently because his youngest daughter had a health problem. You accepted with pleasure. You had offered to babysit his daughter but the loving father he was wanted to be with her. And it was precisely this evening that a thug decided to steal the fund from you.
 You were at gunpoint with your hands up in the air when you saw a red and black mass fall behind the thug.
 "Hey buddy, I think the bank is across the street"
 Spider-Man tapped the thief on the shoulder and dodged a punch.
 "But I think I'll arrest you anyway if you went to the bank. You don't seem like a nice guy." Peter joked.
 You were paralyzed as your friend, your best friend if you were honest, chained or avoided them with agility. You swallowed hard, unable to move or run away. A gunshot rang out and you smelled a scared little vintage. Peter squeezed the barrel of the gun in his hand, deviating from his course. It made sense now to say that he had simply defended himself against the assault. After a few seconds that seemed like an eternity, Peter stared the offender against a fridge door, immobilizing him. He then turned to you, oblivious to your identity at the time.
 "Are you okay there?"
"Peter!"
 You didn't give him the chance to realize and you rushed into his arms, hugging him so tight to feel the comfort of his body against yours.
 "Uh, yeah, you're welcome. Cuddles are nice but ..."
 He paused for a moment and his automated eyes widened. He knew his perfume. The flowery, sweet scents that he had missed so much. Is this possible?
 "Y/N?"
 You let go of him and immediately put his mask back on. Adrenaline was controlling your actions and god damn it, you needed that touch. You kissed him, bluntly. Your lips crushed against his in impatience, in ardor, but too bad. You needed to feel it against you, to regain the feeling that you had felt, years ago. After a few seconds, you felt Peter's hands encircle your waist, pulling you closer to him. Your heart was exploding, the ardor was present in your kiss. You were even frustrated that you couldn't grab her brown curls with full hands, settling for only the base of her hair. You let out a moan before pulling away abruptly. He had a girlfriend.
 "I… I'm sorry. I… Sorry, I didn't mean… MJ… and… please don't blame me."
 Peter silenced you with another kiss, shorter this time but so good.
 “There is no MJ .... Just you and me ... Far Longer Than Forever”
 You looked at him hopefully and then burst out laughing after his words.
 "I didn't know you were so romantic, Parker"
"Shut your mouth."
"Make me"
"You are impossible."
"But obviously, you like"
 He was going to say something to nag you, he was looking for it but you caught him off guard, placing your lips on his again. You could feel his smile in the kiss and you couldn't help but do the same. Anyone living in the neighborhood present in the street would have a view of Spider-Man kissing the student cashier from Delmar. But you couldn't care less. You had waited too long and the joy you were feeling now was so intense, you didn't want to stop feeling this. It is reluctantly that Peter moved away from you apologizing for the fact that he had to go on patrol again.
 "Go save the Spider-Man neighborhood"
"Only if you promise me you'll be there when I get back."
"I was thinking of going to say goodnight to May instead ... But if you want, I have a sleeping bag in the storeroom."
"You are incorrigible .... See you later ..."
"See you later."
 You smiled, in a misty state of bliss as Peter disappeared from view. This time, you weren't planning to escape, you wanted to fall into the webs of Peter Parker. You closed the store after the police visit and headed to May's flat. It was late but with her kindness she welcomed you with open arms.
 This summer ... was the best in years but the others to come were going to be even more wonderful.
124 notes · View notes
bestiesenpai · 4 years ago
Text
youtuber Sukuna
I beg you to read the shitposts I made about this, they are delicious. You don’t have to of course but...if you loved me you would :) s/n = screen name, and I hope you chuckle at Sukunas screen name
Content warning: uhmhm lowkey incel shit(mean internet comments and whatnot)
part two --- part 3
Name: Sukuna. Age: 25. Height: 6 foot 5 inches. Occupation: toxic Youtuber, fitness trainer and hot guy.
Sukuna wasn’t exactly known for being kind. He wasn’t nice to others, rarely having anything good to say about anyone, and he’d made a successful Youtube career out of it. First starting as a fitness trainer at his gym, through encouragement from his clients and the notion of a quick cash grab, he started Youtube.
He didn’t care about it and that reflected in the quality of his videos and editing. He didn’t have consistent uploads, just filming and posting videos whenever he wanted, analytics be fucked. But somehow, that worked out for him, and he quickly found himself with over two million subscribers just frothing at the mouth for his next video.
And those subscribers were some of the worst people. Sukuna didn’t care about fostering a safe space online for others, not in the slightest. His comment sections were atrocious, both on his Youtube and his Instagram. It was full of toxic men one-upping each other constantly and dragging on each other for not being able to work out as much as Sukuna did.
Sukuna was a large part of why his fanbase were so toxic. He himself often made bad comments about others, whether fellow creators or people that happened to appear in the backgrounds of his videos, and on more than one occasion he’d been ‘cancelled’. None of that mattered though, all he cared about was shitting on other people and making money.
Sometimes he played video games and posted it, but not too often. Sukuna often stated he wasn’t so much of a fucking lonely loser that he’d play video games all the time, and so the gaming videos he did post were few and far between. He played angry shooter games and GTA, mindless button clicking he could get lost in for a few hours for a video.
Laying in bed one night after uploading his most recent video, one where he rages at 12 year olds on GTA online, Sukuna was just scrolling through his phone mindlessly. After he uploads video game content, like clockwork, he gets recommendations for gaming channels. He only watches a few of them, mostly leaving mean comments saying what losers they are, but one catches his eye.
He’s never been recommended this kind of video before. The thumbnail is light and bright with some pink aesthetic lights in the back. But the most enticing thing is the person in the middle, cute pink cat ear headphones on and a bright smile.
“Let’s see…” Sukuna mumbles to himself, mindlessly clicking the video. He hasn’t even read the title, he only clicked it because they were cute, and here he is nearly blinded by the bright setup they have.
“Hi everyone, it’s (Y/N) here and I’m really excited today! We’re going to be playing this new game I found!” Sukuna is immediately enraptured by the sound of your voice, watching how your face changes as you talk. His eyes drift off to the decor behind you, cute plushies and healthy plants, and some twinkling fairy lights. There’s books as well, and your chair is one of those ergonomic gamer chairs he has as well but in pink.
Sukuna watches the video dumbly, totally in the dark about whatever you’re doing, but loving it all the same. All he knows is that he likes the sound of your voice, and when you laugh and smile at a funny part in the game, it makes a light flush come to his cheeks.
It only takes one video for Sukuna to spiral into more of your content. He watches a video on your gaming setup, and he’s surprised that so much technology can come in pink. He watches a video on how you edit, a few of you cooking in your kitchen, and even a few vlog videos.
He quickly subscribes to your channel, and when you plug your social media, he immediately goes there. Pulling up your Instagram, he stares at your profile picture and almost audibly coos at you for being cute.
Your profile is just as cute as your videos are and Sukuna barely remembers to follow you before he’s going through your whole feed, liking every picture he sees. Sometimes he leaves comments, only one word though, ‘cute’. He’s never liked something so outright cute before, it wasn’t who he was and it definitely didn’t fit with his brand.
Falling asleep after following you on every platform, Sukuna wakes up thinking about you as well. And he also wakes up to hundreds of comments from all his accounts, bombarding him with questions and screenshots from last night.
‘SUKUNA WHY WOULD YOU LIKE THIS SHIT?!’
‘OMG Sukuna liked (Y/N)s posts!!’
‘Sukuna is so gross and toxic, you better stay away from (Y/N)!’
‘SUKUNA YOU GAY NOW’
‘EW why the fuck do you like this bitch?’
There were hundreds of comments that he waded through. Most were from his fans, expressing disgust at how many photos of yours he’d liked and wondering why he, Sukuna, most heterosexual alpha male on the planet, would like a pretty in pink Youtuber who had bubbly intros and whined when their animal crossing villagers wanted to move away.
Other comments were from your fans, some in awe that he would like you considering how much he said he hated overly cute things. Other fans expressed concern, worried what this might mean for their favorite Youtuber. Did Sukuna want to cause problems, potentially hurting you? He did have a reputation of bullying others, so this wasn’t far fetched.
Checking your Instagram, you didn’t make any comment about it. There wasn’t any update or anything, but on his end he was being tagged in endless Twitter threads with screenshots of him liking your posts and commenting under them.
“For fucks sake.” He grunted, clenching his phone in his hands. The amount of notifications he was getting were starting to upset him and he nearly threw his phone to get them to stop.
Ignoring his phone for the rest of the day, Sukuna went to the gym like he always did and trained with his clients. Some of them brought it up to him, asking him if he had a mind break last night and forgot what he was doing. Sending them harsh glares, Sukuna refused to talk about it.
“Oh my fucking god.” Sukuna nearly wailed when he got home, finally checking his phone. His name and yours had begun trending, and the hashtag #protect(Y/N) was also. Muttering angrily under his breath, Sukuna turned on Instagram live.
“Okay what the fuck!” He shouted, seeing the live become instantly flooded with people all screaming about you and him. “You’re all fucking annoying, you know that?” Glaring harshly at the camera, he read some of the comments that went by.
‘WHY’D YOU LIKE (Y/N)S POSTS FROM 2017’
‘Are you two secretly dating??’
‘COLLAB!’
“Who gives a shit why I liked their stuff, you’re a fucking weirdo for keeping track of me. And we aren’t secretly dating, dipshits.” Rolling his eyes, Sukuna scoffed as more comments came in begging for a collaboration. “And think about it you morons, why would we collab? Our shit is too fucking different, what would we even film about?”
Sukuna stayed on Instagram live for nearly an hour answering questions asking about you. Every time he had to answer that you weren’t secretly dating, he got a little more annoyed. Not at the comments themselves but at the fact that it was true; you didn’t even know he existed.
Ending the live in a huff, Sukuna didn’t feel any better than before, and it was made even worse by the fact that everything he said was being relayed to Twitter, and you were tagged in every tweet.
“These idiots!” Staring at his phone, Sukuna couldn’t believe what he was seeing. On your Instagram stories, you’d posted a q&a for your followers, and nearly all of the comments were about Sukuna.
“Hi everyone! No, me and Sukuna aren’t dating!” You said, laughing a little to ease how uncomfortable you were. “To be honest, I’ve never even heard of him before! As you know, my content is very...different from his, so our circles don’t exactly intersect. But I’m always happy to have new followers and potential friends!”
“Fuck me.” Sukuna groaned, cringing at how uncomfortable you looked having to address the sudden onslaught of questions. For once he wished he’d actually given a shit about his online presence, so that maybe one day your circles could intersect. He knew he scared you, he scared a lot of people, and this was just proof.
“Uh, Sukuna if you see this, hi it’s nice to meet you!” You said in the next slide, puffing out your cheeks and waving cutely at the camera. It made Sukuna blush, and he hated it. “Thank you for following me and liking my content! I was very surprised that you found me!”
“Of course I did, idiot, you’re fucking cute.” He muttered under his breath.
“I know a lot of people are asking for us to do a video together and I know our content is really different, so don’t feel pressured to respond or anything, but the offer is open! If you’d like, we can collab on something.”
“On what?” He asked like you were there.
“I cook sometimes, and I know you cook too! Maybe we can make a cooking video? You can teach me how to make healthy food or something!” Sukuna could tell a fake laugh when he heard one, and you definitely had one right now. “Anyways, thank you! Bye Sukuna!” But hearing you say his name cutely like that made him not care.
He nearly responded right away, accepting the collab offer now that you’d spoken about it, but he didn’t want to seem desperate. He watched through the rest of your Instagram stories, going back and replaying the parts where you talked about him over and over and his heart clenched every time when you said his name.
In the dead of night, Sukuna DM’s you after watching your latest video and leaving the simple comment ‘check your DM’s’.
“Fuck, what should I say?” He’s suddenly stumped as he looks at the keyboard. Typing and retyping a message, in the end all he can say is hi. He doesn’t expect a reply, ever, but when he gets a vibration on his phone two seconds later he jumps to read it.
(S/N): hi Sukuna! :)
(cursedgod): hey
Real fucking smart, repeating what he just said.
(S/N): is there something you wanted to talk to me about?
(S/N): I hope you haven’t been annoyed at all the notifications you’ve been getting!
(cursedgod): No it’s okay
(cursedgod): we can collab if you want
Good Sukuna, good. Play it cool, don’t let them know that your fingers are actually trembling because you’re nervous.
(S/N): do you want to?? I don’t want to pressure you! I know we’re pretty different haha
(cursedgod): yeah, let's do it. Cooking?
(S/N): sure!
Looking around his home, he was suddenly assaulted with the fact that he didn’t have any furniture. He barely had a proper bedroom, just a mattress on a bare frame and a dresser. His lounge room was the same with his computer setup in one corner and then nothing else. There was only a couch, a mounted TV and a fold out table and chairs for his dining room.
(cursedgod): I know a studio kitchen we can use, I’ll send you the address
Thank god he’d done promo work for a brand in a studio one day, otherwise he’d be fucked.
(S/N): awesome! I’m free next Saturday!
And just like that, it was a date. Well, a meeting. Sukuna knew it wasn’t a date, but his heart still thumped like it was one. Confirming the time, he ended the conversation with a curt goodbye and obsessed about it throughout the night.
When the day to meet you came, Sukuna nearly ran late trying to pick out his clothes. He’d never cared about looking good or presenting himself well in front of others, whatever version of him he turned up in was what they got. But for you, he wanted to try a little harder.
Waiting outside the studio space, Sukuna rubbed his hands together nervously. You’d messaged a day or two ago offering to put the video on your channel since it probably wouldn’t fit his aesthetic, so he didn’t have to bring his shitty camera equipment.
“S-sukuna?” Snapping his head up, Sukunas mouth fell open looking at your curious face a few feet away, an Uber driving off behind you. You were even cuter in person, just his fucking luck. How was he expected to act like a normal person when his recent obsession was here looking better than he could have imagined.
“Hi.” What comes out is a grunt, not the smooth word he’d hoped. He can see you eyeing him up, taking in all the thick and corded muscles of his body. It made his chest puff out a little, he worked hard for this physique and to have you so openly looking at him made him happy.
“It’s nice to meet you!” Sticking your hand out, you smiled politely at him.
“Same.” Shaking your hand with a firm grip, Sukuna could feel the difference in your palms. Yours was soft and nicely moisturized and he had callouses everywhere and a few cuts and scrapes.
Opening the door for you, Sukuna led you to the studio space he’d rented out. It was a clean and modern kitchen, not unlike his own, but it had appliances and looked actually lived in. Helping you set up a few camera angles, Sukuna felt a pang of nerves hit him in the stomach.
“Sukuna, can we take a picture together?” You asked before starting, and Sukunas brow furrowed deeply. Why would you want to take a picture with him? His expression must have scared you, because you quickly backtracked. “F-for promo for this video, on Instagram and stuff!”
“Sure.” God, did he feel bad or what. He shouldn’t have made that face at you, now you wouldn’t look him in the eye. Crouching down to get the right angle for you, Sukuna watched you pick a cute animal filter.
“Just do what I do.” Throwing up a peace sign, you cutely tilted your head from side to side and smiled. Sukuna tried to do the same but he looked awkward, and most of all he was blushing pretty bad.
You snapped a multitude of pictures, some at different angles and some with different filters, and in all of them Sukuna was blushing at least a little. He managed to smile more as it went on, even laughing at one of the filters.
“Thanks! I’m going to post these really quick and then we can get started!” Giving him a brief smile, you turned back to your phone and set about editing some of the pictures. Looking over your shoulder, Sukuna could see that he looked like a blushing high schooler meeting their idol for the first time and not a grown man.
Once the photos were posted and you tagged him in everything, it was time to start. Setting up your marks on the floor, you took a generous drink of water and cleared your throat.
“Are you ready for the intro? I’ll start it and introduce you, okay?” You’d actually prepared a script for yourself, and showed Sukuna as well.
“Okay.” Stepping in front of the camera, Sukuna bristled at feeling you so close to him. Your arm brushed his casually as you were fixing your shirt, and Sukuna was glad he’d worn his most expensive cologne for this.
“Hi everyone, welcome to today's video! As you know, I’m (Y/N), and today we have a special guest today!” Throwing your arms in the air, you motioned to Sukuna.
“Hi.” He nodded, barely cracking a smile. He could feel you looking at him like you wanted to say something, but he didn’t look.
“So, many people have been asking for us to do a collaboration and it’s finally here!” Clapping your hands lightly, you rocked on your heels and nudged his shoulder with yours. “Do you want to tell them what we’ll be doing today?”
“Uh-” The playful nudge you’d given him was enough to make Sukuna short circuit. “I-I-” He suddenly couldn’t remember how to speak. “Rice?”
“Let’s try that again.” You laughed. “Do you want to tell them what we’ll be doing today?” This time, you didn’t nudge him with your shoulder.
“We’re gonna…” the words were on the tip of his tongue, they wanted to come out and be spoken but he couldn’t do it.
“It’s okay, it’s okay!” Nodding reassuringly, you took a deep breath in and out, and Sukuna shakily copied. “One more try?” When he looked at you, Sukuna expected to see a hint of annoyance in your face, but there was none. You were just smiling softly at him, waiting for his answer.
“Yeah. I’ll uh, I’ll get it next time.” Stepping away from the camera, Sukuna took a drink of water and cleared his throat. Cracking the bones in his neck, he took a deep breath and came back. “Let’s do it.” No more fucking embarrassments.
“Do you want to tell them what we’ll be doing today?” You asked for the third time, slightly swaying your body side to side this time.
“We’re gonna make katsudon today.” Finally, the words he wanted to say came out.
“That’s right! As you can see, Sukuna is really fit!” You immediately hopped in, giving his arm a brief squeeze. “And he knows how to make a ton of healthy meals!”
“Mhmm.”
“So I asked if he could help teach me, and all of you at home, how to make it!” Smiling at the camera, you waited a few seconds before relaxing and turning it off. “Did you like that? We can refilm it if you want.”
“No, it’s okay.” Running a hand through his hair, he pointed to the bag of rice he’d brought. “Let’s get started on this shit.”
Taking fifteen minutes to film the two of you filling up the rice cooker, when it was over, you set about getting aesthetic shots of the other ingredients. Sukuna tried to seem casual off to the side on his phone, but he was really watching you.
Getting started on chopping the ingredients, Sukuna somehow managed to say the things he was supposed to without stuttering too badly. He was amazed that you could make the things he was doing sound so interesting, your narration as you held the camera and tried to do things yourself was impressive to the man that barely knew anything about cameras.
“Sukuna, I need help cutting the meat.” You whined, tapping the meat on the cutting board with a knife. “I don’t remember how you showed me.”
“Here.” Without thinking, Sukuan grabbed your hand with the knife in it and moved it for you. “You just have to move your wrist more, it’s not that hard.” Doing it a few times, when Sukuna felt your chest expand with air against his, that’s when he realized how close the two of you were. “S-sorry.” Immediately jumping back, he stared at the floor.
“Thanks!” Giving him a smile, you kept at it.
“I’ll fry the meat.” Stepping in as soon as you were done, Sukuna already had the hot oil ready. He was eager to cook and do something with his hands instead of - what he felt like - was awkwardly watching you off to the side.
“Okay!” Grabbing the camera, you focused on the pan. “You’re really good at this, Sukuna!”
“T-thanks.” Staring directly at the pan, Sukuna didn’t look away. Even with the hot oil popping up from the pan a few times and burning his fingers, he didn’t flinch at all.
“Ow!” But you did. Your hand had gotten too close, and when Sukuna flipped the meat, some of the oil had gotten on your hand.
“Shit.” Abandoning the pan, Sukuna was ready to drag you over to the sink for some cool water.
“I-it’s okay, it was only a little.” Shaking your stinging hand, you point to the food. “But I think the meat might burn.”
“Shit!”
Narrowly avoiding disaster with the meat, when it came time to cook the eggs, you made a joke about how you liked your eggs in the morning and Sukuna burnt them almost immediately. While not an overtly sexual comment, the implications of the words still affected him.
Somehow, he managed to make the dish come together and while his plated dish didn’t come out the best, yours looked at least halfway decent with overcooked meat and burnt eggs. The only things not messed up were the rice and vegetables, and even then Sukuna was surprised.
“We did it everyone, we made katsudon!” Holding up the bowls, you smiled big and nudged Sukunas shoulder again. “You saw we had a few mishaps along the way, but that’s okay, that’s what made it fun.”
“Yeah, it was fun.” Sukuna chuckled. Despite him being more nervous than he’d ever thought possible, he had fun cooking alongside you.
“Sukuna, will you try mine? I made it super pretty and everything.” Holding your dish up to him, Sukuna wasn’t expecting you to do that. Now he felt bad that his looked so ugly and like a teenaged boy made it; he almost said no.
Eating yours though, somehow it tasted better than he was expecting. It must have been how you prepared it, and the fact that you cared so much about the presentation. Eating it in silence, he let you eat in peace as well for a few minutes and compliment the food to the camera.
“Alright, that’s the end of the video!” Putting your bowl down, you turned to Sukuna. “I had so much fun today, thanks for filming this with me.” Now was his chance to make everything better. Putting his bowl down and bolstering himself with confidence, Sukuna threw his arm over your shoulder and pulled you close to him.
“Thank you (Y/N), I really did enjoy today. I hope we can film again soon!” He squeezed your shoulder and smiled really big at not only you but the camera as well. He knew he was blushing, he knew that even the tip of his nose was a nice rosy shade, but he didn’t care. If people teased him for it, then so be it. But he wanted you to know how he truly felt.
“R-really? You want to?” You asked, looking up at Sukuna from your place smooshed against his body.
“Really.”
“Aww, well you heard it here first everyone! Sukuna wants to shoot another video with me!” Clapping your hands a few times, you waved at the camera. “Okay, bye everyone!”
“Bye.” Sukuna waved too, waiting a few seconds before letting you go and turning off the camera.
“Sukuna, did you really mean it? You want to film another video with me?” You were in utter disbelief. All this time, he’d just seemed very standoffish, if not a little awkward around you. You were happy to film this video with him, he had way more followers than you and it would help boost both your channels, and to hear him say that just made it even better.
“Yeah, I was serious.” Sukuna spoke around stuffing his mouth with the food he still had left. He was more hungry than he thought, the nerves doing a good job of twisting his stomach during the video. Now that it’s over, he can finally relax.
“That makes me really happy.” Eating the rest of your food as well, you leant against the counter. “This is gonna sound kind of mean, but I was really scared to film with you today. I thought you were going to be really mean.”
“Shit, you did?” He grimaced, letting out a sigh. “Sorry I had you worried.” He could already imagine the comments you would get from his fans.
“It’s okay! You’re actually way nicer in person, I was surprised!”
“That’s good.”
“And you’re really buff, you have muscles in places I didn’t even know were possible!” You laughed bashfully at that comment, and avoided looking at him when he stared at you in shock. “I couldn’t help but notice…”
Were you checking him out? Had you been checking him out this whole time and he didn’t even realize? He had seen you eyeing him up when you first met, but were you looking at him like that at other times as well? Now he’d really have to watch your video to see if it was true.
“Thanks, it’s my job.” Could he have said that any lamer? “My job outside of all this, I mean. I’m a trainer at this fancy gym downtown.”
“Oh, I’ve seen some of your videos at your gym! I know which one you’re talking about.”
“You do? You’ve seen my videos?” If he wasn’t surprised before, he was now.
“Yeah, you know I had to do a little research beforehand.” You nodded, beginning to clean up the dishes around you. “And I know you’ve already watched almost all of my videos, so it only seemed fair.”
Did you have to bring that up? Now Sukuna was embarrassed again.
“Y-yeah, I did.” Clearing his throat, Sukuna helped gather the dishes. He took up washing them, another task he could do to get his mind off you. As you took down the camera equipment, he nearly broke several dishes and utensils from scrubbing too hard.
“I’ll call you an Uber.” He said when all was said and done and you were back at the front of the building.
“You don’t have to, it’s okay.”
“No, I want to.” Quickly calling you a ride, Sukuna fiddled with his phone a little more. “Uh, could I- could I-” His voice kept leaving him, and he had to cough a few times. “Can I get your number? I really liked your camera shit and I want to improve mine.” Okay, it wasn’t a total lie. He did like your setup and wanted to make his just as good, but he really wanted your number to potentially talk to you more about things outside of Youtube.
“Sure! Go ahead and type it in.” You were quick to give him your phone, a cute pink phone case on the back of it. Typing it in, he can’t help but notice the little devil emoji you add by his name. He wants to ask, but your ride is already pulling up.
“Bye!” Setting all your camera gear inside the car, you turn and wave goodbye.
“See ya.” Just as you’re about to close the car door, Sukuna gets a burst of confidence. “Text me when you get home, okay?”
“Okay!” And off you go. Sukuna watches the car drive off until he can’t see it anymore. He takes his time getting to his own place, eagerly awaiting your message with every step. But even when you do message him, all he can do is send a thumbs up back and nothing else.
It’s about two and a half days after that that you text him again, letting him know you’re done editing and that you’re going to post the video soon. It wasn’t a very long video to begin with, so the editing was simple enough. Sukuna replied with what appeared to be a lackluster ‘can’t wait’, but on the inside he was shaking. He’d already screenshot all the pictures the two of you took together and added them to a folder.
“Here we go.” As soon as the video went live, Sukuna watched it. He was mortified as soon as it started at the blush so evident on his cheeks, and how it stayed throughout the whole thing. He groaned at the part where he helped you cut up the meat, he almost wishes you’d cut it out. Every little detail that made him embarrassed was there, every little nuance of his actions you’d managed to capture and make it cute.
(Y/N): How do you like it??
You texted him after twenty minutes, eager to hear his thoughts.
(Sukuna): it’s good, good editing and stuff
(Y/N): yay! I’m going to read comments in a few hours, you should too! I bet people will be really shocked!
(Sukuna): yeah no doubt
Oh, he was definitely going to read the comments. Whereas you were going to wait for a fair few to come in before commenting, Sukuna frequently refreshed the page and read the new ones as they came in. You were right, a lot of people were surprised, but he also saw a lot of his fans as well.
‘Ew Sukuna really cooked for that bitch? They can’t do it themselves?’
‘Yeah, why do they have to rely on him? Useless as fuck lol’
‘Sukuna only did this to get laid, (Y/N) looks like an easy fuck’
All of those comments, and many more, made his blood boil. Usually, he wouldn’t care at all about the comments, letting them fester in his comment section and spiral out of control. But for you, it was different.
‘Fuck off and die you pieces of shit. Leave (Y/N) alone or say it to my fucking face’
Sukuna sent that message, along with a variety of other threats, to all the people that insulted you. He didn’t care that this wasn’t his channel and that you would deal with it in whatever way you wanted to. He needed to defend you against the unwanted audience he’d brought you.
Luckily, after seeing Sukunas messages, all of his fans backed off. They knew how serious he was about his threats and there were many rumors that he actually did go and beat people up who said things he didn’t like. No one wanted to be on the receiving end of his torment.
With Sukunas name attached to the video and his heavy presence in the comment section, the video easily went viral. It was easily the most viewed video on your channel, getting on the trending pages of several different platforms.
(Sukuna): hey
It’s nearly a week after the first video that Sukuna messages you, and the hype is still going strong, and your follower count grows greatly from it.
(Y/N): hi! What’s up?
(Sukuna): do you want to film a video for my channel now? We can play a game, I have a few
(Y/N): sure that sounds fun!
Oh how wrong you were. The game Sukuna chose was a scary game, a shooter game with scary zombies and a lot of possible jumpscares. He doesn’t tell you either, so on the night of filming - he insisted on it being nighttime to get the full scary effect - you were caught off guard.
“I don’t know about this.” You whined once you saw the title. The two of you were video calling alongside playing the game together, and Sukuna’s eyes flicked to your figure on the screen.
“It’ll be okay, I’ll carry you, don’t worry.” He had started filming as soon as he’d set up the game, and you were filming yourself as well for him.
“You promise it won’t be too scary?”
“If it’s too scary just close your eyes and I’ll protect you.” Smiling softly at you, he started up the game. The beginning was fine, just a quick introduction to the game, but as soon as things started to get moving, you were scared.
“Sukuna a zombie is eating me!” You screamed, frantically pushing buttons in an attempt to get it off.
“It’s okay!” He quickly got rid of it, and made sure to stay close to your character as the story progressed.
“(Y/N) stay by me, there’s about to be a whole lot of them.”
“Close your eyes there’s about to be a jump scare here.”
“Don’t worry about getting that item, I’ll grab it for you!”
Sukuna nearly forgot he was being filmed, saying sweet things to you to help encourage you and make sure you weren’t overwhelmed. There were many parts where you screamed in fright and Sukuna was there to coo at you and tell you it was okay. He made sure that your character never died, making sure to keep you close until the end of the game.
“Sukuna, that was so hard!” Squishing your cheeks in your hands, you looked at him through your phone.
“It was fun though, wasn’t it? I had fun with you.” Completely abandoning the game, he stared down at his phone with a soft smile on his face.
“Yeah, when there weren’t so many zombies.” You stuck your tongue out at him, and it made him laugh. Leaning his head into his hand, Sukuna grinned when you yawned.
“Aw, are you tired? Better go to sleep soon.” His voice dropped to a lower volume, like you were right next to him.
“I will.” You yawned again and it made Sukuna yawn as well.
“Get off the phone and go to bed, you’re making me tired too.”
“Fine.” Whining out the word, you waved sleepily. “Goodnight Sukuna, I’ll send you the video files in the morning, okay?”
“Night.” Waving back, Sukuna waited until you hung up to turn his stuff off as well.
In the morning, Sukuna was ready to edit. What usually took him a week to edit out of laziness, he took only a day to edit this video with you together. Rewatching the footage, he nearly gagged at seeing how soft his face got when he looked at you, and most of those parts were left in because he couldn’t stand to watch them and fix them.
(Sukuna): videos up
The next day, he messaged you. Once again Sukuna patrolled the comments, swiftly deleting any that said even a hint of a bad thing about you. There was less this time, what with Sukuna adding a warning at the beginning of the video threatening anyone that talked down at you.
This video, like the first, went viral. But for a much different reason. Since Sukuna was emotionally unable to deal with how sappy he was and edit those parts out, everyone got to see how soft he was for you. If the comments weren’t mean, they were screaming about how you and Sukuna must be dating now, because why else would he look at you and talk to you like that?
And much to Sukuna’s dismay, there were also fancam edits of you two together. Any clippable moment of him being sweet on you in the videos you’d made together along with the photos you’d posted on Instagram were edited together and posted on Twitter. You both were tagged in every single one, making sure Sukuna saw all the videos of you and him together. He saved all of them too, delighting in the way you looked with him with all those pretty filters.
By the end of the day, people were trying to put a ship name together for the two of you and he’s seen you repost a few fancams with cute messages of thanks as well. Seeing you receptive to the fans screaming about the two of you made him happy, even if he was still too nervous to text you about anything outside of Youtube.
As more comments came in, people on Twitter were begging him to do a vlog with you. You had quite a few on your channel, going to cafes or filming what your day or week was like. Sukuna had watched them all and was jealous of every single person that appeared alongside you.
(Y/N): hey I’m doing a live on Instagram if you want to join me! I know people really like us together lol it’ll be great for views
(Sukuna): sure
Did you want him to join now? He’d just gotten out of the shower and thrown on a pair of sweats, he wasn’t exactly decent. But he didn’t want to waste time getting ready only for you to end the live.
“Hi Sukuna!” You smiled and waved when he appeared on the screen.
“Hey.” He waved back, not caring about the angle he was holding the camera in. He saw hearts begin to fill up the screen and comments started to fly by, almost all in caps about the fact he was shirtless talking to you.
“Guys, don’t be weird! Who cares that Sukuna is shirtless?” You tried to stop them, but it was clear you were flustered as well. You weren’t looking at him, peeking at him through the screen a few times.
“God you’re all thirsty as fuck.” Sukuna finally looked at himself on the screen. He was shirtless and in bed, hair slightly damp and tousled on his pillow. Reading a few comments, he shot up. “Of course I’m wearing pants, you nasty fuck!” Storming out of bed, he stood in front of the only mirror in his house that wasn’t in the bathroom and turned the camera around. “See, look!”
“Oh.” Gasping softly, you were glad Sukuna didn’t notice you screenshot the live. Clad in only gray sweatpants, Sukuna’s freshly cleaned skin gleamed in the light of his bedroom and every single muscle and edge of his body was on display.
“There, told you I wasn’t fucking naked.” Rolling his eyes, he flopped back down on the bed. None of the comments had gotten any better, all of them talking about how hot he was and how you were so lucky to know him in real life.
“L-let's talk about something else.” You stammered, not showing your face on camera for a few minutes. Sukuna laughed at the comments teasing you for being embarrassed, agreeing with some of them under his breath.
“So, what the fuck are you all doing here?” Sukuna posed the question at the chat, but at you as well.
“Well before you came everyone was talking about you...and you know how everyone has been begging for us to vlog?” You started off slowly, peeking an eye at his face.
“Yeah?”
“I wanted to call you to ask how you felt about that?” How he felt? Why did you want to know?
“You couldn’t have texted me that?” That wasn’t necessarily what he wanted to say, but it made you chuckle, so it was okay.
“No! I wanted to ask so everyone could know!”
“I don’t mind it.” If you wanted to vlog with him, he would do it in a heartbeat.
“So…” Worrying your lip, you looked off camera for a few seconds before looking directly at Sukuna. “Would you like to be in a vlog with me, at a cafe? It’s outside the city, kind of far, but we can rent a car or-”
“Yes.” Sukuna interrupted, nodding his head quickly. “I’ll come. We don’t have to rent a car, I’ll drive.”
“Really?” The comments were just as shocked as you were. Sukuna never filmed anywhere but his home and the gym, this would be a monumental occasion.
“Did you want me to say no?”
“No!” You screamed immediately, nearly dropping your phone. “I just- I wasn’t expecting you to say yes!”
“Well I did.” Sukuna bit his lip, running a hand through his hair and flexing his arm. “So I guess it’s a date, huh?” His normal asshole confidence was back now that you were appearing through a screen and not right next to him. A surprised sound came from the back of your throat, and you nearly dropped the phone again.
“Y-yeah! A date!” It felt good to have you flustered for once and not Sukuna. Laughing heartily at you, Sukuna smirked at the comments.
“Was that all you wanted to ask me or was there something more?”
“No, that was it!”
“Alright.” Licking his lip and letting his tongue hang out of his mouth a little, Sukuna watched you bite your lip as well. “Well I’m gonna go, I got stuff to do, but I’ll text you later (Y/N).” Dropping his voice as he said goodbye, Sukuna left the livestream.
“Holy fuck.” As soon as his phone was off, Sukuna let out a breath he’d been holding in. His heart was pounding hard despite how confident he was in his actions. Flirting was nothing new to him, but with you it felt different and like he’d never done it before in his life.
He watched the rest of your livestream while he finished getting ready for bed, laughing at the comments still teasing you about getting flustered with him. The notifications for Twitter were going off as well, and he knew for sure that there were new fancams for him to check out later.
(Y/N): Sukuna!! You’re so embarrassing!
Texting him after your stream, your cheeks were still burning at the memory.
(Sukuna): hey, you said it would be good for views and it was
(Y/N): I know…
(Y/N): did you really mean it, about coming with me?
(Sukuna): of course. If I didn’t want to I would have said no
(Y/N): that’s good lol!
There was a lull in conversation, and Sukuna nearly fell asleep waiting for you to either text him again or for him to figure out what to say next.
(Y/N): so, a date huh? Are you going to bring me flowers?
Now he was awake. He didn’t expect you to bring that up again, and his eyes flew open. Sukuna’s fingers hovered over the keyboard, mind going blank on what to say.
(Y/N): lol just kidding! I know you only said that for the stream! I’ll text you later about the details, I’m about to knock out
(Y/N): goodnight :)
Well shit. Now he definitely wanted it to be a date.
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